AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“I want to.”
I can barely hear myself speak over the frantic pounding of my heart as I fight the overwhelming fear that’s threatening to ruin this moment. Threatening to rear its ugly head and leave me running from Wendee, like a coward, with my tail between my legs.
She deserves all of me.
She deserves everything.
I finally remove my shirt and toss it to the side. I quickly kick off my shoes as my fingers fumble with my belt buckle. I move quickly, before I lose my nerve, and run from this room. I don’t want to run away from her but I’d rather be the one running away from her versus the alternative. Her running away from what she’s about to see.
My pants and underwear are tossed to the side, somewhere along with my shirt, and I’m finally standing in front of her, completely naked. I’ve never been naked with another person in my entire life. I feel utterly terrified and so incredibly free. Her eyes are roaming over my body in a slow and heated perusal. I can’t help but grow hard at the look I see in her eyes and the arousal I smell coming off of her.
But I need her to see ALL of me. The worst of me.
I turn around, and for a brief moment, I squeeze my eyes shut and the world around me disappears.
I can’t see anything.
I can’t hear anything.
I can’t feel anything.
I’m suddenly transported back to my past. When I was no more than eight years old, being whipped by my father, the infamous and divinely perfect Archangel Michael. I was never good enough in his eyes. I was too rowdy, too distracted, too cruel and evil for an angel, much less the son of an archangel. Everyone kept comparing me to Lucifer and would talk about me in hushed tones behind my back. This only coaxed my father’s need tofixme. He attempted to RIGHT me by whipping me when I was too young and small to fight back. I suffered at his cruel hands for years, and the only one who ever came to my aid and tempered my father’s hand, if only by a little, was Hook. He’s the only one here, in Purgatory, who knows
what I went through.
My grandfather never stopped my father either. There was no GRACE in my childhood, no divine hand to intervene, no God. There was only ever Hook, and he was never able to stop the abuse on his own. Once I turned eleven, I refused to let him, or anyone else, aid or see me. Therefore, even Hook has never seen the destruction and devastation that covers the entire backside of my body, from shoulders to ankles.
My ever-loyal brother has seen me suffer enough. I know he feels guilt for not being able to stop our father. I think a huge part of his loyalty to me, him being here when he doesn’t have to be, is because of that guilt. And now he thinks the loss of my wings was the final blow that harden me into an impenetrable iceberg completely, but he’s never really known me. He’s wounded more by the loss of my wings than I am. And he longs for home but refuses to leave me here, alone, despite my best efforts to assure him I’m fine. And I’ll only be better withherby my side.
Wendee.
She awoke something in me the night her soul called out for me. The night I found her at the worst moment of her life. The night I swore to myself that I would never let any more harm come to her. The night I gave up what little I had left to avenge her because I knew from that first moment I saw her, that she was going to be the one to save me. As soon as I locked eyes with her, my frozen barrier started to crack, and for the first time in my life I felt something other than coldness and anger. Her being here now has made me realize that it was never the loss of my wings that caused me to be crueler all these years.
It was losingher.
And I don’t think I can handle losing her again. Not now. Not after everything that’s happened in these past thirty days. Even though I’ve tried to fight it, knowing the ending can’t possibly be happy, it’s inevitable. WE are inevitable. She’s here in Purgatory for a reason. She didn’t go straight to Hell. She was always meant to be here, with me, and I’ll be damned if I lose her again without a fight.
A rush of determination floods through my senses and I open my eyes. I stand up straighter, my attention now solely focused on Wendee. I’m watching her in the floor to ceiling mirror next to us as
she takes in my naked appearance for the first time.
I can feel the heat of her hand as it hovers just above my skin but not touching me. Not touching the scars. There are fresh tears running down her cheeks but she doesn’t look sad. It’s not pity making her cry. What I see in her eyes is something I know all too well. Anger. I see the flame of anger in her eyes before she takes the last step between us, wraps her arms around me, and lays her cheek against my back.
I can feel the warm wetness of her tears on my back as she squeezes me tightly and holds me. I expected her to cringe at the mere sight of me, to go running and screaming from the room in a hurry to get away from me. I never expected her toholdme. Every last lingering piece of my defenses crash to the floor underneath her touch. I feel lighter than I’ve ever felt, and even without my wings, it feels like I could fucking fly.
“Wendee.” My voice is clogged up with all of the immense emotions flooding through me. I turn to face her and I’m met with more of her fiery rage.
“If I could kill the son of a bitch that did this to you and take his soul to Hell with me I would.”
Her protectiveness over me makes my heart soar inside of my chest. I swear, it feels like a damn helium balloon and I’m certain I’m seconds away from floating off the damn floor.
I smile down at her, a smile full of all the warmth and love I feel inside of body and soul for this woman. A smile and a feeling I never even knew existed until this moment. I take her beautiful face in my hands and wipe away her angry tears.
“But you’re NOT going to Hell, Wendee. You’re going to stay right here, with me, for eternity. I will never let any harm come to you while you’re here. You’re mine, Wendee, and I will damn all the souls that come to this realm if it means keeping you safe.”
“Sinn—”
I smother whatever argument she was about to make with my lips claiming hers. I gently lick her lips, coaxing her to open them for me. All the urgency and anxiety I felt minutes ago are gone. I take my time exploring her mouth as if it’s the first time I’m kissing her. And as this new man, with these new feelings running through me, it is.
