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I’ve never given any thought to myself as a father, even since the arrangement with Pavel to marry his daughter has materialized. It’s always been abstract. Unimportant.
Knowing I am one doesn’t make me feel like one. I’ve never met him, like Lyla said.
Meeting him, knowing his name, will make it feel real.
There is a fleeting chance that I can make that happen. I won’t risk another visit here—ever.
I’m not sure which I will regret more. Knowing exactly what I’m missing out on or knowing he’s out there, but nothing else.
The door slams as I climb back into the waiting car. I’m exhausted by uncertainty about what to do, of being paralyzed by indecision. It’s completely uncharacteristic. Usually, I pride myself on my decision-making. It’s an essential trait of an effective leader.
I pull out my phone and call Grigoriy, who’s in the car behind me.
He doesn’t ask questions when I tell him to stay behind with Viktor and watch the building. Accepts the directive to let me know of anything suspicious without hesitation.
It helps calm some of the chaos in my head as I give the signal to Andrei to start driving.
There’s no right or wrong decision.
There’s justmydecision. That’s been the case when it comes to everything else.
This will be no different.
CHAPTERSEVEN
LYLA
The phone rings fifty-four minutes into Nick’s two hours. I drop the sponge and dry my hands.
Having the afternoon off is a novelty. Most of the attorneys were out of the office today at a legal seminar in Pittsburgh. Mary, the head secretary, sent us all home after lunch. I called June and asked her if she wanted me to pick AJ up from school when I go to get Leo. My afternoon was supposed to be a few hours to myself and then surprising Leo by picking him up instead of his usual after-school care.
Instead, I’m cleaning. Stress cleaning.
Leo’s school is calling.
I answer the phone. “Hello?”
“Hi, Miss Peterson. It’s Mrs. Gables. How are you?”
“I’m fine, Mrs. Gables. Is everything okay?”
“Everything’s fine. But there’s a cold bug floating around, and Leo says he isn’t feeling well. He asked to go to the nurse, but I hate to have him sit there the rest of the day. Is there any way you could come pick him up early?”
Crap.
Concern mixes with stress. I don’t mind picking up Leo early. It ruins the surprise of getting him after school myself for once and my plan to take him to get ice cream. But I’m most concerned by the realization that means Leo will be home when Nick comes back.Ifhe comes back.
“Miss Peterson? Are you still there? If it’s an issue, I can send him to the nurse’s office for the afternoon.”
“It’s no issue. I’ll be there shortly,” I say.
Under other circumstances, it would be ideal this happened on a rare afternoon off. Otherwise, I’d have to panic call Mrs. Hudson, the elderly woman who lives a few floors down and babysits when June isn’t available, and ask her to get Leo so he wasn’t stuck in the nurse’s office for hours.
“Oh, perfect.” Mrs. Gables’s voice is all relief. “I’ll see you soon.”
“See you soon,” I echo, then hang up the phone. I pull on my jacket and grab my keys before leaving my apartment.
Nick didn’t say a specific time. I forgot that about him—how he lets the rest of the world fall into place around his plans.
