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I wince. “I didn’t know you were pregnant. If I had, I would have…”
“You would havewhat, Nick?”
“I don’t know,” I admit. “I have no fucking clue what I would have done.”
She snorts, the sound dripping with disdain. It’s been a long time since anyone spoke to me this way. I should hate it. Part of me loves it.
I’m not a dangerous man to Lyla. I’m just Nick.
“This was such a mistake. I saw Alex, and I thought—I thought you deserved to know. Now, you do. Go back to yourcomplicationsand leave me and my son alone.”
“Ourson,” I correct.
Lyla’s eyes flash like they’re reflecting flames. If they were, I’d be a burning pile of ashes.
“Accidentally getting me pregnant doesnotmake you his father. You’ve never even met him.”
“I didn’t know he existed, Lyla!”
“And whose fault is that?” she snaps.
I let out a long exhale, trying to keep my temper in check. “Look, I need to go to a meeting. Can I come back in a couple of hours?”
“Ameeting?” Lyla repeats incredulously. “What, do you have another baby mama to explain complications to?”
I level her with a hard look, but I want to laugh. Lyla referring to herself as my baby mama is amusing and surprisingly arousing.
Most of the women I’ve slept with have known exactly what I do for a living. Any of them would have come crawling to me for money and protection after getting pregnant.
“I don’t have any other kids.”
“That you know of,” she replies pointedly.
Again, I swallow a chuckle. It’s been nine years since anyone spoke to me like this. Alex will occasionally tease me, but he’s my subordinate. He’ll never take things too far. You respect yourPakhan, or you pay for your insolence.
But to Lyla, I’m just the asshole who upended her whole life. Who broke her heart and left her to raise a kid without a father—the same way she grew up.
I wonder if she’d treat me with the same wide-eyed insolence if she’d seen me washing my bloody hands before dinner last night. If she knew the things I’ve done to keep my family—my men—safe.
“My meeting is for business. I wouldn’t have scheduled it for now if I…I’ll be back as soon as I can.”
“Business, huh? What do you do?”
The question I don’t want to answer. “That’s also complicated.”
She scoffs. “Of course it is.” Then sighs. “It’s 613. You can come right up. The buzzer is broken.”
Of course it is. Once again, I keep my thoughts to myself. I just nod. “Thank you.”
I turn and walk toward the waiting car. I want to stay longer, but I can’t justify it. The same way I can’t characterize coming back as anything but selfish. Once I conduct this meeting with Luca Bianchi, the one I only set up to explain this trip to my men, I should leave this city as soon as possible.
Or I could tell her the truth.
She won’t want me around them once I do.
Part of what drew me to Lyla was her morals. Her resilience and belief in systems that failed her. She wanted to become a social worker and help kids like herself. I should have asked if that’s her job now. Her mother died from an overdose. If she had any idea the business I’m involved in, I doubt she’ll take my money even if it’s for…fuck.
I didn’t even ask my own kid’s name.
