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I swallow because I don’t usually talk with Eli about stuff like this. It’s more of a conversation I’d have with Myles.
But he’s the last person who needs to know about my life with Sophie.
“Have you ever drank so much that you were unable to remember what happened the previous night?” I ask him.
“What?” Eli says, then lets out a chuckle before I hear the slam of a door. He must be in his car. “Did this happen to you?”
“Yeah,” I tell him. “I keep trying to think about what happened and it’s all blank. It’s killing me. Do you have any idea how I can make myself remember?” If anybody knows, Eli does. He’s constantly being assessed by doctors.
“The easiest way is to ask the people you were with,” he tells me.
I frown. “I can’t do that.”
“Why not? Who was it?”
I swallow hard. “A woman.”
Eli laughs louder this time. “Oh boy. And you can’t ask this woman because…?
“I have my reasons. Do you have any suggestions or do you just want to carry on laughing?” I sound testy, I know that. But this is bugging me.
“How long ago did this happen?” Eli asks, sounding almost sympathetic.
“A while ago.” I don’t want to tell him the exact date. He’s not stupid, he could figure out who I’m talking about.
“So when you woke up in the morning where were you?”
My chest feels tight even after I exhale heavily. “In her bed.”
“And what happened next?”
“She said she was going to get dressed in the bathroom and that I should leave before she came out.” I frown. “I was feeling kind of rough.”
“Dude,” Eli says sharply. “This was all consensual, right?”
“Of course it was,” I snap. “She told me we slept together, it wasn’t good for her, and we would never be doing this again.”
“It wasn’t good for her,” Eli repeats. “You mean you didn’t make her…”
“That’s what she said.”
“Ho boy.” He’s quiet for a moment. “But you always make sure they have a good time. Liam’s rule number one, she always comes first. That’s what you told me when I came to you when we were younger.”
I blanch because it’s true. If a woman’s going to offer me a night with her, I’m going to make sure it’s good for her. No, not just good. Amazing. Unforgettable. I have a thing for making sure she walks away fully satisfied and then some.
I love women. That’s why I’d never get into a full time relationship. They sure as hell deserve better than me.
When Eli was in his late teens he came to me for advice. And I took that seriously, telling him that women needed to be treated with respect. And yes, I know that sounds counterintuitive coming from me, but I have nothing but respect for women.
I don’t sleep with anybody without making sure they’re on the same bandwidth as I am.
Which is why this whole thing with Sophie is driving me crazy. I lost control of the situation and I hate it.
“Look,” Eli says, his voice pulling me out of my thoughts. “I think you gotta just put this thing behind you. Whoever she is has probably forgotten all about you already, right?”
“She definitely hasn’t,” I say.
“Wait. You’ve seen her again?”
