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My first instinct is still to protect her. In what universe is that okay? I’m marrying another woman.
With Adelaide out of the house, I give Tripp a call. He’s out on tour and might not be able to answer, but he’ll put my head back together.
“Hey, man. The ball and chain let you out for the day?”
I chuckle. “Whatever, asshole.”
Tripp likes to bust my balls about getting married. We all laugh at the fact that I had set him up with Adelaide all those years ago.
Tripp’s laugh rings through the phone, and I hear his bandmates and bottles clinking. I have no idea how he lives in a twenty-four seven party.
“You busy?”
“Nah, man. Just headed over to the venue for tonight’s show.”
“Where you guys at?” I push open the sliding glass door and step onto the deck.
“London, baby.” He uses his best British accent. "When are you joining us?"
I roll my eyes. Tripp is always trying to convince me to go on tour with him and Savage Revolt. The last time I did, I ended up in the tabloids in every language. Keane would kill me if I did it again. “I’ll have to keep missing out if I want my wedding to happen in a few months.”
“True enough,” he says with a chuckle. “So what’s shakin’?”
I head down the stairs of my deck until my feet sink into the warm sand. “You got a few minutes to talk?”
There’s a moment of silence, but I think Tripp’s realizing I didn’t call to have a friendly chat. “Sure, man. Give me a sec.” I hear something shuffling. “Be a doll and get up, would you?” A female voice complains. There’s more movement before the sounds of partying lower. “Sorry. I’m in the shitter on the bus now. What’s going on?”
I sit on the bottom step, squinting from the sun glistening off the blue water. “The bedroom wasn’t available?”
“Nah, Jericho’s in there with some groupie right now. Thank fuck we’re sleeping in hotels and not buses on this tour.”
“Yeah, I get it.”
“So what’s up?”
I dig my big toe into the sand and wiggle it around, designing a nonsensical pattern. “I saw Lilah a couple days ago.” I rush the words out, but I’m surprised by the relief I feel after finally saying them out loud.
“Fuck me. That bitch is trying to get back into your life?”
I knew Tripp would be pissed. It’s one reason why he’s my go-to person when it comes to Lilah. He saw me after I kicked her out of my life. He saw the depression. He saw the destruction she caused.
“Not in person. I was watching the news. The Feds arrested some bank robber and they rolled some footage of the bank and Lilah was there. At least I think it was her.”
He’s quiet for a second. I get it. It took me time to wrap my brain around the fact that after six years, she just appeared like a dream or a nightmare. I’m not sure which.
“Okay, so you saw her on TV. Big deal.”
I blow out a breath and push my fingers through my hair. “It is a big deal because…” I squeeze my eyes shut. Tripp doesn’t want to hear the truth that claws at my insides.
“Because what?” His voice is monotone and void of emotion.
“Because I can’t stop thinking about her. I can’t help wondering what she’s doing, whether she’s clean or not, if she's done something with her life and…”
“Why she did what she did,” he finishes for me.
A large sigh slips from me. “Yeah, I’m an idiot.”
“Nah, you’re human.”
