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Maria. I do love her. Too bad she’s not here today. I could use one of her miraculous hangover concoction drinks.
“Where are we going?”
He grips my shoulder and turns me to face the hallway. “Go. You’ll find out soon enough.”
I do as he says, knowing Jimmy’s not going to tell me no matter how much I try to get it out of him.
* * *
An hour later,I’ve showered, downed another bottle of water, and eaten a grapefruit at Jimmy’s insistence that I have to getsomethingin my stomach before we go. How very responsible of him.
Halfway into our trip, I figure out he’s taking me to the pier. Roughly an hour later, we’re in Santa Monica. My heart strums gently, because it’s one of the first places we visited when we arrived in LA from rural Virginia.
Jimmy’s silent on the ride down. I try to make some small talk, but he doesn’t seem into having a conversation, so I lean my head back on the headrest and take a quick nap. Guilt still drowns me, so I’m happy Jimmy doesn’t lecture me the whole ride down.
The first time we came here, we flung open the doors of his Chevy truck and barreled down the pier. Today, Jimmy won’t get out until his ball cap and aviator glasses disguise him.
“Here.” He hands me my own cap.
I’m nowhere near as well-known as Jimmy is, but if I happen to catch someone’s eye, it’s possible they’ll look for Jimmy, since we’re always in the tabloids together, and that’s trouble. Being surrounded by hundreds of fan girls trying to grab a scrap of Jimmy is borderline dangerous. Once we had to have the cops called so that we could leave a store.
“How do I look?” he says and looks at me and grins.
“I’d never pick you out of a crowd.” I smile back, finding the calmness of Jimmy and me enjoying a day together.
He waggles his eyebrows and opens the door. It’s my first glimpse of the guy I adore since I saw him this morning.
I join him outside. After he sets the alarm on his car and pockets his keys, he takes my hand and entwines his fingers with mine. The feel of his palm against mine calms the ever-present anxiety in my chest, and I breathe a little easier.
We weave through the parking lot, and we don’t need to speak because we know where we’re going. Our footsteps lead us to the other side of the pier. We stop and remove our sandals to walk barefoot in the sand. The warm sand wiggles between my toes, and the breeze blows my freshly washed hair as it wafts from the ocean. We walk away from the crowd near the pier until we find a more secluded spot.
The both of us sit on the sand and face the ocean, watching in amazement as the waves fall to shore. Memories of our first time and many since play out in my mind. How spectacular the ocean felt the first time we came here.
Jimmy stretches out his legs and holds himself up with his arms behind his back. “Do you remember how we used to talk about this all the time?” His voice sounds wistful, almost as if those days we were barely surviving were the good ol’ days.
“I do.”
My stomach hollow and gnawing from hunger. My heart pounding every time I heard the muffler of my dad’s truck. My eyes unable to close at night because the minute they did, I was awoken.
I spot a small stick in the sand, probably left behind by someone’s dog. I dig it up and trace lines in the sand in front of me.
“Did you ever think we’d really make it here? It felt like a desperate dream from a pair of kids who didn’t know any better, but somehow we made it.” Jimmy’s eyes never stray from the beautiful ocean, the sun beaming down on our necks.
I’m quiet for a minute, dragging my stick absentmindedly through the sand. “We both know if it weren’t for you, we wouldn’t be here.”
I leave out the fact that maybe he should have left me behind. The words don’t have to be spoken for me to feel the weight of them bearing down on us.
Jimmy takes my hand and squeezes it while he looks at the waves. “You know I’d do anything for you.”
I squeeze his hand back as tears burn my eyes. “You’ve proven that more times than you should have to.”
He drops my hand and turns in the sand to face me. “Lilah, I’m worried about you.”
I drop the stick and shift to face him. “You don’t need to worry about me anymore. We’re free of that place. Look around.” I gesture to our surroundings. “We’re in paradise now. Like you said, our dreams came true.” I fail to mention they were Jimmy’s dreams. Sometimes I think I just came along for the ride.
“True, but sometimes I think you’re still living in the past. You’re still that scared little girl—”
“Stop.” I raise my hand. “You know I can’t talk about him.”
