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He found a type of service that celebrities use, where things are kept very hush hush, and I mailed in Monica's sample last week via priority courier. I’m not scared of the results, but it still feels like a clicking countdown in the back of my mind.
Neither Jimmy nor I brought it up when he came to visit that weekend. It was the proverbial elephant in the room the entire time, but we put it aside for Monica’s sake. It shifted us back to that awkward state though, so many emotions running under our conversations.
Before he left Sunday, he told me that next weekend, we need to solidify our plans for after the press release goes out. I know we want to be in control, but I’ve tried to avoid thinking about it, since it means a disruption to Monica’s life. But it can’t be avoided any longer. I need to work out what I want to happen so I have a say in this too.
I yawn as I click the button on the coffee machine and stand there waiting while the blessed aroma fills the kitchen. Reaching forward to pull a coffee mug from the cupboard, I still when I hear something outside. It sounded like a bump. My mind goes to the garbage tins at the side of the house and the raccoons who dig and dump out everything and drag it across the yard.
“Ugh. Seriously? So much for that guy at the hardware store and his miracle system to keep them out,” I murmur.
I’m gonna need a jolt of caffeine for this, so I continue to pull the mug down and pour my coffee, adding milk. After a few gulps of the heavenly goodness, I set the mug on the counter and head to the front door to go around to the side. I open the inside door and have my hand on the screen door when I realize the sound wasn’t raccoons.
My throat closes when I see camera crews and reporters lining the edge of my property. Vehicles are parked on both sides of the roads as people set up equipment. Panic squeezes my insides and all the air swoops out of my lungs, leaving me gasping through my tight throat.
In the few seconds it takes for me to make sense of what’s happening someone spots me. The shouting of questions begins, only drowned out by the incessant clicking of shutters.
“Oh my God.” I slam the door closed. “Oh my God.”
A sick feeling swells in my chest and bile creeps up my throat. I swallow it back, closing my eyes and willing myself to take control of the situation right now and worry later. Racing throughout the house, I close all the blinds and curtains and ensure the doors and windows are locked. Monica is still asleep and her window and curtains are closed—since I check them every night before I put her to bed. When I’m done, I run back to the kitchen and pull my cell phone from the charger, hitting Jimmy’s number.
He answers after a couple of rings, sounding groggy since it’s earlier on the west coast. “What’s wrong? Is Monica okay?”
“They’re here. They’re all here.”
“Who’s there? What are you talking about?”
“Reporters, paparazzi! My house is surrounded!” I pace the kitchen, my breaths shallow and short. I feel lightheaded.
“Fuck! You’ve got to be kidding me. How did they find out?” Rustling sounds in the background.
“You tell me! Did you release the statement? I thought we had another couple weeks?” Tears are welling and my nose is tickling. It’s only a matter of time before I break down.
“We did. Someone must have tipped them off. Fuck!”
“Mommy?”
I freeze. Wiping the tears, I mask my emotional mess of a face and spin around. “Kiddo, what are you doing up?”
She yawns and rubs her eyes. “A noise woke me up.”
Keep it together. Keep it together.
“Why don’t you go play with your Barbies in your room, okay, hun? We’re going to have a special day today. No school or work, how does that sound?” I plaster on a fake smile.
“Yay!” She wraps her arms around my waist.
I bend and kiss the top of her head. “Now you go play and I’ll come get you for breakfast in a bit. But do not, do not open your curtains.”
She screws her face up into a confused expression. “Why not?”
“Kiddo, you just have to do as I say, okay? Can you do that?”
She shrugs. “Okay.”
“Promise? No opening curtains.”
“Yeah.” She spins on the ball of her foot and walks to her room, glancing back at me.
I smile like everything is peaceful in the world.
