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“Hard to say.”
He doesn’t respond for a long time, leaving us in silence. My self-hatred grows thicker as his yearning for more information grows impatient.
“I wish you could see yourself the way I do.” He nudges my shoulder, urging me to roll over onto my back.
“Don’t start with that again,” I say.
“It’s true.”
My head shakes before he finishes saying the words. “Stop.”
“You know how I feel about you.”
I sit up and turn away from him, my legs dangling over the side of the bed.
“Why won’t you give us a chance? Arealchance?” There’s irritation in his tone. Jimmy’s not going to let me leave until we tread down this familiar path.
“We’ve talked about this.” I stand up and head toward the bathroom.
He catches my hand as I pass him. “You care about me. I know you do.”
“I love you, you know that. But I wouldn’t make a good girlfriend, and you know that too.”
I can’t tell him what I know as truth. I’d ruin any love between us. Jimmy is the most important person in my life. I risk a lot of things with my body and life, but Jimmy isn’t one of them. I’d rather live with a taste of him every now and then than not have him in my life at all.
“You have some issues you need to work on—”
“Like the bathroom right now,” I say.
He sighs and drops my hand. I race to the bathroom and shut the door, squeezing my eyes closed and wishing I could be someone else. Someone good enough for him. Someone he’d be proud to have on his arm. Someone who wouldn’t ruin his future and shatter his dreams.
After convincing myself not to cave to the temptation of classifying what Jimmy and I are to one another, I finish up and open the door. Jimmy’s sitting up in bed, the sheets open for me to slide back in so we can pick up the conversation where we left off. Before I get the chance to join him, a voice rings out down the hall.
“James, where you at?”
I’ve never been happier to hear Tripp’s voice in my life. He’s a welcome distraction.
“Give me a minute!” Jimmy yells. He sighs as he drags himself out of bed and pulls on his boxers.
He stops before leaving the room, pausing at the door. His gentle smile and tilt of his head say the topic isn’t closed. Silently asking me to think about it. Jimmy has never accepted the word no. If he did, we wouldn’t be standing in his Malibu beach house right now.
Chapter Seven
JIMMY
“Hey, man, what are you up to?” Tripp looks back from rifling through my fridge, already making himself at home. Normally my house is his house, but today, I’m irritated by his impromptu visit.
“Nothing. What are you doing here?”
He closes the fridge and pops the top off a beer before tossing the lid on the counter. “Can’t a guy stop in to see his best friend?”
I raise my brows.
“Okay, okay. I wanted to see how you made out last night after we went our separate ways.” His words are a reminder of the favor he did me.
“Thanks again for helping me out.”
He shrugs, sipping his beer. “What are friends for? You missed out though, let me tell you.”
