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“Was that a yes?” I ask, trying not to be too hopeful in case I’m wrong.
“That’s a yes. Let’s try, let’s see what this is that's still between us.”
I smile so wide it hurts my cheeks and it makes her smile, then I embrace her, soaking in the feeling of her in my arms as truly mine. I'm elated that we’re going to try again. She returns the hug, clinging to my T-shirt as if I might disappear.
When we pull apart, her eyes still hold a small amount of trepidation, but I vow to make her see that she's made the right decision. She never did trust herself enough.
Chapter Seventy-three
LILAH
Tonight is the first night I’ll be staying at Jimmy’s house. For the past two weeks, we’ve spent nights talking on the back porch after Monica has gone to bed.
Was I so naïve to not realize I was missing a piece of myself these past six years? Having him back in my life, I feel more whole. That’s even with the fear of getting comfortable in something new because just as I was devastated six years ago, this time will be worse. Especially since he'll always have a starring role in Monica’s life.
Monica is excited to stay at her dad’s, carrying on and on about my room being right by hers just like in Lake Washington.
The truth is, neither Jimmy nor I have brought up the sleeping arrangements for tonight, so I’m just going to go with the flow. The most we’ve done in the past couple of weeks is kiss, so it’s not a foregone conclusion that we’ll be sharing a bed. But even the kissing turns me into a giddy, stars-in-her-eyes high school girl.
My gut twists as the night progresses. With each minute, it ramps up a notch. We finish teaching Monica Go Fish, and from the way her head is laying on the table, we’ve exhausted her.
“Kiddo, I think it’s time for you to get to bed,” I say.
“No! Dance party first.”
Jimmy looks across the table a little sheepishly. “I promised her we could have a dance party with you when you got home.”
I shake my head and chuckle. “Oh, you did, did you?”
“Can we, Mommy?” Monica’s practically vibrating off her seat, her sleepiness invisible now.
“Tell you what? How about we each get to pick a song, then it’s bedtime?”
“Yay!” She slides off the chair and runs into the adjoining family room. “We can dance here.”
I groan and push out my chair, following her. Jimmy's close behind.
“Ladies first, Mommy. What will it be?” Jimmy’s holding his phone and clicks the on button of a Bose Bluetooth speaker.
I rack my brain and of course can’t think of anything on the spot, so I name the first song that comes to mind that Monica might enjoy dancing to. “'Despacito.'”
He shakes his head at me. “Bieber? Really?”
I chuckle. “Monica likes this song, don’t you, kiddo?”
“Yah! Beaver, beaver!”
Jimmy laughs at her pronunciation and cues up the song. By the end, we’re all dancing around and singing at the top of our lungs, mumbling unintelligible Spanish words. When the last note sounds, we collapse in a heap on the couch, laughing at ourselves.
“Okay, sweetie. What song do you want?” he asks Monica.
“'Baby Shark'!”
Inwardly I groan because, oh my God, if I have to listen to this song one more time… but outwardly I smile and share a look with Jimmy. He’s obviously been introduced to the repetitive nature of the song already.
“'Baby Shark' it is.”
The song starts and we all sing along. Since Jimmy isn’t yet familiar with all the actions, Monica and I teach him those as we go along. What feels like forever later, the song ends.
