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A few weeks later,we land at a private airport in the Los Angeles area. With the rumble of the tires on the runway, my stomach churns with sourness from being in Los Angeles again. Add on the fact that I’m staying at the home he shared with Adelaide. At the home where we loved and hated each other, sometimes in equal weight. I've promised Jimmy a week, and I hope I can stay without running away.
Jimmy’s given Monica a lot of firsts. I think he loves watching her reactions. I caught him smiling at her while she stared at the clouds the entire flight and asked a bunch of questions like where the birds were and are clouds cotton balls.
Monica buzzes with excitement when our driver pulls up in front of Jimmy’s place. Another first—she’s never seen the ocean.
A rush of memories floods my mind as we step through the door—some good, some bad—but I push them all back because in the end, they don’t matter. We’re starting anew. What matters most is where we are in the present.
Once Monica’s run down every hallway inspecting the place and we’ve gone for a long walk along the beach, we have dinner and go through her bedtime routine. She’ll be sleeping in the extra bedroom since the room I used to occupy is a gym.
Not much has changed about the room. The walls are now a pale blue and the comforter coordinates—Adelaide’s influence, I assume—but the furniture is the same. I tuck her into bed and ease out of the room once I hear her breathing become deep and even.
I need to burn off some anxiety, so I go to my bag in his office where I’ll be sleeping on the pull-out sofa and find my swimsuit. Once I’m changed, I head down the hall.
“I’m going to go for a swim,” I say.
He looks up from his phone at the breakfast bar. “I’ll come watch.”
I chuckle, moving across the room toward the sliding glass doors. “You’ll watch?”
He shrugs. “Yeah. I've always loved watching you swim. It’s sexy as hell. Especially when you finish and come up out of the pool. You’re like a Bond girl.”
I laugh and step out onto the deck. “Whatever floats your boat.”
And watch he does. At first, I’m very aware of him watching my every move but at some point, I disappear into myself as I always do, leaving my worries behind.
When I’m done, I step up the stairs with a little extra flair to my hips. His eyes hood and he licks his lips. I grab the robe he thoughtfully brought out off the edge of the sectional and wrap it around me before I get a chill. Summer is disappearing even here in California. I sit down beside him.
He trails his tongue up my neck until he reaches my ear. “Just as good as I remember.”
His hand slips under the collar of my robe and he cups my breast, running his thumb over my nipple. It feels good, better than good, but I can’t relax. Being here is raising questions, ones that have come to mind in passing before but now are at the forefront of my mind.
He must sense something is off because he pulls away. “What’s going on in that head of yours?”
He always did know me too well.
I have to remind myself that there’s no use hiding what feels like silly, girly emotions. If anything is going to come of us, I have to be upfront about everything.
“I feel awkward. This is where you lived with Adelaide.”
He frowns. “This is also where I lived with you.”
“I know, but that was a long time ago and not nearly as long as you were with her.”
“For the record, Adelaide still had her own place. I’m not saying she wasn’t here a lot, but we couldn’t agree on where we were going to live full-time.”
“Really?”
He nods. “Let’s get this out of your system… we’ve never talked too much about Adelaide and me except for what went down at the end. Ask me whatever you want, then we can move on past this.”
He’s given me the green light to have all my curiosities answered and now I feel nervous to hear the answers. God, I need to get a grip.
“Okay, how did you guys start dating? I mean, I know what the press says and when you guys started showing up there, but you can’t ever believe that garbage.”
“We were still friends and talked quite a bit after everything went down with us. Over time, we kind of lost touch. Then I saw her again at an industry event. We caught up with each other, made plans to grab something to eat, and that was our first date.”
I nod slowly. It hurts to hear, but I appreciate him being so open. “What about before that. Was there anyone special before her?”
He shakes his head. “I was desperate to do anything to push the pain away and stop thinking of you. I drank too much for a while, went on tour with Tripp and slept with a bunch of groupies, but none of it made a damn bit of difference. You were still there, lurking at the back of my mind, waiting to push into my thoughts the second I sat still.” He’s so calm, I’m envious.
