AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“What you mean, like, act it out?” I scrunch my forehead. “I’m not an actress.”
“I know,” he says, leaning forward to grab the joint from me. “But practicing your answers to the hard questions can’t hurt.”
I think about his offer for a second. “You’re right. Okay, let’s do it.”
We spend the night role playing my interview. Not sure how well we do after smoking another joint, but it’s nice to be with the old Jimmy. The best part came afterward, when we did a different kind of role playing in bed.
* * *
I waketo the feel of lips pressed against my shoulder, followed by a scratchy beard nuzzling into my neck. I moan, gathering my bearings as I shake off the last of my sleep. I roll over onto my back. Jimmy’s lying on his side, his head in his hand, gazing down at me. His dark hair is curled up at the ends and mussed, resembling a younger Jimmy.
“What do you want to do today?” he asks in a raspy morning voice.
I wrinkle my forehead before I remember that he has the day off because of the rain. I look over my shoulder at the wall-to-wall window. Rain clouds loom over the dark ocean. “I don’t know. What do you want to do?”
“To be honest, nothing. Just chill with you, catch up on some movies I haven’t seen.”
“Okay, let’s do that then.” I smile. In my mind, I calculate how many pills I have left, trying to come up with an excuse to slip away to grab some weed and oxy.
“Great. Why don’t you relax, and I’ll make us some breakfast?”
I run my hands through his hair, and he turns his head to kiss the inside of my wrist.
When we were younger, he used to make me breakfast if my dad forgot to get food. Twelve-year-old Jimmy was already the responsible man he is today. His situation wasn’t much better than mine, but he had a mom who tried to keep food in the cabinets. I can still smell the burnt eggs from the first time he tried to make me scrambled eggs in their old cast iron pan. Their stove was ancient and never worked properly, so the one burner only pumped out heat full blast regardless of where you set the dial. The whole place filled with smoke. I remember the awe of gratitude that he’d even tried to help me. Unfortunately, with the good comes the bad. Jimmy’s dad returned from his midnight shift, and I listened from the front room as Jimmy took a beating.
He taps my temple. “What’s going on inside there?”
“Nothing,” I say softly.
He kisses my forehead. “Relax for another half hour. I’ll call you when it’s ready.”
He rolls out of bed, wearing his black boxer briefs and looking every bit the superhero he’s playing.
After he’s gone, I slip out of bed and sneak out of his room to “my room,” the one my stuff is in. When I agreed to stay with Jimmy, I insisted on having my own room, something he wasn’t happy about but agreed to. I don’t want him to think that I’m ready to have a real relationship, because I’m not. I’ll probably never be ready. With anyone.
* * *
I tiptoeinto my bedroom and to the walk-in closet. My hands shake as I root around the bottom of my purse for the small container of oxy. I breathe a sigh of relief, counting that I have enough to get by today, but I need some for tomorrow for sure. I swallow one pill, close the container, and push it to the bottom of my purse, covering it with tampons and receipts.
“What are you doing?”
I spin around to find Jimmy behind me, holding a spatula.
“I’m picking out some clothes. Figured I’d have a quick shower before breakfast.” It’s scary how quickly lies pop into my brain.
His gaze dips to my purse then back to me. “Do you want your eggs scrambled or fried?”
“Fried please,” I say with a smile.
“Coming right up. Don’t take too long in the shower,” he says and walks down the hall.
I sag to the floor, exhaling a breath in relief. Jimmy knows I’m no angel, but I don’t know how he’d feel if he knew I need to pop a pill on a regular basis now.
After a minute or two, I shake off the panic and head to the bathroom to shower and wait for the pill to take effect.
Chapter Eleven
LILAH
