Page 28 of Beautifully Scarred


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The next day, Jimmy insists I join him on set, since it’s only ten minutes down the beach from his place. Even though the need to get to Derek’s runs over and over through my mind in the most obsessive way, I agree to follow him. He has to go over the script changes for the day and see hair and makeup first.

At eight o’clock, I drag myself out of bed, pop my last pill, and brush my teeth and hair. Deeming myself good enough, I walk down the beach. The sand wiggles between my toes and brings up memories of Jimmy and me, two desperate deserters, arriving in Los Angeles with next to no money but determined to make it. We were so different then.

The set for the day comes into view. It’s blocked off by security, but men with cameras are hanging around the perimeter.

Shit. I hadn’t even thought about the paparazzi.

I duck my head as I make my approach, knowing it’s a useless endeavor. These guys are better than the FBI at identifying one of their suspects. It’s as if their brains have an entire catalogue of celebrities, from the A list all the way down to the Ds.

I stay as close to the water as I can, away from where most of the paps stand. When the bulky security guard spots me, he walks the length of the temporary fencing to meet me.

“Sorry, ma’am. They’re filming today. You can’t get through.”

I lift my head and smile. “I’m here to see James Crawford. My name is Lilah.”

He gives me the once-over then reluctantly pulls his walkie-talkie off his hip. “You got a Lilah on your list for James?”

The click of a camera shutter sounds to my left. The paps have figured out who I am. Who knows what kind of juicy story they’ll cook up to go along with these photos.

I turn my back on them, but it’s no use. They walk down to where I am.

Something garbled comes through the walkie-talkie that I can’t understand, but apparently the guy in front of me can, because he says, “Right this way,” and steps aside, allowing me through the fence.

“Thanks.” I move as quickly as I can over the shifting sand.

“He’s just finishing up in makeup.”

I give him a wave and keep walking toward the parking lot where the trailers are set up. I’ve been on enough sets to know the deal, so it only takes me a few minutes to find his trailer. I give a quick knock and peek my head inside.

Jimmy sits in the makeup chair with the script in his hands. Adelaide Sheridan sits in the chair across from him, doing the same. She’s laughing, and he’s smiling. A sour queasiness fills my stomach as I watch the two of them. The fact I opened the door and he’s yet to notice bothers me.

“Hey, Jimmy.”

He looks away from Adelaide and smiles, his mocha eyes sparkling. “Hey, come in.” He stands and meets me halfway, giving me a hug hello. “Lilah, this is Adelaide.”

“Hi,” I say, giving her a short wave and an even shorter smile.

“Hi, nice to meet you.”

She’s pretty. Not glamorous or anything, like a lot of Jimmy’s previous coworkers, more the girl-next-door type. Honest and fresh-faced.

“Same.” I nod.

There’s a bit of an awkward silence which Jimmy quickly fills. “We were just running our lines for today, since we’re done with hair and makeup.”

“So I don’t get to see you in the superhero suit?” I tease, poking his stomach.

“Not today, sorry. We’re doing the climax of the B plot today.”

The itchy anxious feeling I’m so familiar with crawls across my skin. I know that the B plot in a superhero movie is code for the love story.

“Oh? What’s going on in the scene today?” I ask, doing my best to sound genuinely interested. I wonder how long it will take for me to get to Derek’s with traffic.

“Today is our first love scene,” Adelaide says. “Always awkward.”

I can’t tell if she said that deliberately to piss me off, or whether she’s truthfully not looking forward to it. Unless she’s dating some other LA heartthrob, I’m sure no one looks at Jimmy and thinks, man, the last thing I want to do is roll around in the sand with him.

I give her a small smile and look at Jimmy.

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