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“Whatever you decide on is fine. I’m not going to spiral because you didn’t have what I want on the menu.”
“I didn’t—”
“It’s okay, Jimmy. I’m not that damaged.” I smile and head down the hall with my large suitcase.
I pause at the master bedroom door. When I first came to stay here, I put up a fuss about having my own room. I now know it’s because I wanted to prevent any true intimacy from seeping into my relationship with Jimmy. Now, I’d do almost anything to share that bed with him.
One step at a time though. I need to get acclimated to everyday life. Then he and I can sit down and have a conversation where I’m truthful for the first time since we were teenagers.
Chapter Thirty-three
JIMMY
It’s been a week since Lilah returned from rehab, and from the outside, she’s doing well. She attends a meeting every day—either NA or AA, sometimes both. And she’s always sure to fit in her laps in the pool. Watching her, I can understand why it helps her. When she’s swimming, she’s completely focused on what she’s doing, and when she’s done, there’s a calm aura around her, one I’ve never seen before.
I try to be home as much as I can, but we’ve had more photo shoots for promo for the movie and I’ve had to do some voice-overs in the studio in LA. But all that is done, and I have the next three days to myself before I have a meeting with my agent in the city.
The sun glistens down on my pool and the ocean beyond. I watch her dunk her head under the water as she moves her arms in smooth strokes and kicks her feet. She’s getting better every day. She’s gotten faster and built up her endurance since I saw her in rehab. Pride swells in my chest. Immediately followed by the stirring of my dick in my shorts when she stops in the shallow end and stands.
She’s wearing a sporty bikini, but it dips low at the front and reveals an abundance of her cleavage, and her nipples poke through the fabric. My eyes draw down to the curve of her waist and the swell of her hips. She’s so beautiful and sexy and stunning. Since she quit the drugs and alcohol, she’s gained the weight she desperately needed, and all her swimming has defined her womanly curves.
I’ve been jerking off every morning to relieve my desire for her. I’m starting to feel like a teenage boy.
Lilah pulls the goggles off her face as my cell phone rings on the table beside me. I pick it up as Adelaide’s name flashes on the screen.
“Hey, how’s it going?” I answer.
For some reason, guilt punches my stomach when Lilah looks at me. I can’t hold her gaze, so I pick at a piece of lint that isn’t there on my shorts.
“I’m good, but I was calling to see how you were doing. It’s weird not seeing you every day now, and I know Lilah is home, so I thought you might need to… talk.”
I appreciate Adelaide’s concern, but I won’t be confiding everything about our complicated past to her. My gaze flicks to Lilah. She’s out of the pool and walking toward me. Probably to grab her towel from the lounger beside me. My eyes stay trained on her as her hips sway with each one of her steps.
“James?” Adelaide recaptures my attention.
“What? Sorry, yeah, things are good. Lilah’s doing well.”
“Oh, that’s good to hear.” Her words hold an undercurrent of disappointment.
My forehead wrinkles. “Yeah, speaking of… I can’t really talk right now. Is it okay if I call you later?”
“Sure thing,” she says. “Take care of yourself.”
“Will do.” I hang up and set the phone on the table as Lilah runs the beach towel down each of her arms.
This is ridiculous. I’m jealous of a fucking beach towel.
A rush of air leaves my nostrils, and I shift in my seat to hide the growing bulge in my shorts.
“Who was that?” Lilah asks, patting the towel down her abdomen.
I want to offer to lick off each drop of water. “Adelaide. She just called to see how you’re doing.”
She tenses but continues drying herself. “That was nice of her.”
She drops the towel on the lounger and squeezes out her long blonde locks. Locks I’d give anything to have fisted in my hand as I pump into her from behind.
Jesus, I need to shower.
