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His cock throbbed, the mere implication of lovemaking enough to turn his manhood to brick. But there wasn’t going to be any time for that. There was something he had been ordered to do, and there was absolutely no way in hell he was going to follow through with it.
He needed another plan that would get her out of town and away from him promptly. Somehow, he resisted moving her hand aggressively onto his cock, bringing her mouth to him like she had so many times before. Liz was eager to please, as was he ... an enticing and lethal combination.
When they arrived at her apartment, Ben did his very best to remain neutral and practical. He told her to shower and pack up a few things, but he didn’t tell her exactly why or where she was going. She stripped in front of him without question, the water from the interrogation streaming down her body like paint on a sculpture.
She caught him staring and moved closer to him as he stood by her bedroom window. She ran her hands up his chest, pressing her flawless body against him.
Her pussy was already wet, soaking through his pants. His skin was electric, sensing her every movement. He wanted to fall to his knees and plunge his tongue inside her, make her come an infinite number of times, and scream his name the way he had on so many occasions before.
But he told himself he couldn’t do that for her. Even if it was farewell lovemaking, there was no way he could reach into her chest and rip her heart out like it was made of clay.
Liz kissed his neck, and his tiger growled a deep rumble.
“Let him help you destress, baby,” she murmured.
His body wanted her, but it wasn’t only that. Ben had never fallen for any woman in his life, and it was only after meeting Liz that he realized he had never allowed it. Even a mobster with such a tough exterior like him, deep in the well of his gut, had emotions that were soft and plush like a pile of feathers.
She had shown him that. And he wanted to worship her for it for the rest of his life.
He touched one of her shoulders and painfully pushed her away.
“There’s no time for that, Liz,” he said, not meeting her eyes. “Just shower, please, and we can get going.”
Her arms fell to her side like a puppet, and she nodded faithfully. She understood him without trying. It was one of the many aspects of her personality that drew him to her. She showered without another word, the pipes shaking slightly as she turned on the hot water.
For a good ten minutes, Ben was left alone. He stood by her bedroom window and tried to push away the grief of anticipated loss, forcing himself to think of it as a necessary evil. He had done so many terrible things in his lifetime without batting an eye. He had taken the lives of his enemies without losing any sleep.
But Liz was different. She meant something cosmic to him, something that tied their hearts like a glowing string to each other. Whether she was around him or not, it was going to be there, tightening his chest and stifling his breathing.
He began to see a vision of the future that would never come to fruition. Liz, gorgeous as always, her long hair flowing in the wind like Rapunzel, holding her belly in some vacant open field. In his mind, it was as round as a beach ball, and he was on his knees, kissing it, absorbing her scent like it was oxygen.
A shockwave moved through his heart when he realized what he was seeing. He was seeing Liz as his wife, and she was pregnant with their child.
A child that would never be.
Ben squeezed his fists together tightly, wishing he could smash them into the wall, split concrete in half, or even tear his own flesh from the bone. Anything else but the agony of losing Liz would be preferred.
What other option did he have, though? The Don wasn’t an understanding or romantic man. He wanted her to be taken out as soon as possible, as her knowledge of the family business was too much of a liability. There was no way on God’s green earth that he would bring himself to wrap his hands around her neck and strangle her to death, the light fading from her magnificent blues like shades washing out from winter.
No, he couldn’t, and he simply wouldn’t. Knowing that she was somewhere out there and breathing would have to suffice, even if every beat of his heart felt like a pulsating stab for the rest of his life.
Ben heard the water turn off, and he tried to get himself together. He avoided looking around the room, at the bed, the place where they’d made love so many times, he’d lost count. They’d explored each other’s bodies for hours on end, often until the sun rose hot and gleaming. It would live in his mind forever, a victory on behalf of his cold exterior.
“What do I need to take?”
Liz stood in a towel, shuffling through her drawers and cupboard like they were getting ready for a vacation. He remained peering through the curtains on the off chance one of the Morettis had followed them, but mostly to shield the sorrow in his dim orbs.
“Something comfortable,” he muttered to the window. “Something you can move around in.”
She nodded once again without question, and his throat stung. He didn’t like lying to her by omission, but he had no choice. His only goal for his life, as of that moment and beyond, was to keep Elizabeth Savage alive and safe.
She packed quickly, and he helped her carry her bags down the hallway and into the elevator. Sweat streamed under his suit, his fist throbbed from the violence, and his bones were weary from the emotional whiplash of the day.
She remained quiet through it all, and he couldn’t help but wonder if she knew what was coming. He loved hearing her thoughts, especially when she challenged him. Very few people had done such a thing, and he found it riveting.
It made him feel alive for the very first time.
Once they sped past Sinsations, Liz started to get antsy. She turned to him, one eyebrow cocked with concerned perplexity.
