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Simon expected Ben to go to the other chair by the fireplace. Instead, he sank down to kneel at Simon’s feet and look up at him expectantly. It was too close to his earlier pose when he’d taken Simon’s cock into his pretty, sweet mouth and proceeded to explode Simon’s universe into useless shards.
“No, sweetheart. Not down there. Not right now.”
Ben slowly rose. “The other chair is too far away.”
“Then sit on my lap, if that’s not too weird for you, and I’ll tell you about my prison.”
Ben worried his bottom lip. “Won’t I be too heavy?”
Simon snorted. “Hardly. Please, sweet. I won’t… try anything, I promise. But holding you would be… nice. A comfort.”
“Okay.” Ben allowed himself to be pulled down to sit on Simon’s right thigh, his head against Simon’s shoulder.
“Both my grandfather and father are deceased and have been for a long time. I wasn’t born when my grandfather died and my father passed away when I was younger than you. Both had heart attacks. I saw a doctor after my father died, and my cholesterol was far too high for someone my age and level of fitness. They started me on medication and I’ve been on it ever since, with gradually increasing doses. But everything was fine. I would live forever, unlike my father and grandfather. I couldn’t possibly die so young.”
“How old were they when they died?” Ben asked.
“In their late forties. I did everything the doctors told me. Took all the drugs I was supposed to take. And two years ago, I had a heart attack.”
Ben gasped softly and clutched at Simon’s robe. “Oh my god,” he whispered. “But you survived.”
Simon rested his cheek on Ben’s curls. “I was lucky. I was at work and they did CPR and shocked my heart until it started beating again. That was the day I knew I had to stop working. There was no telling how many years I might have left, but managing a billion-dollar corporation wasn’t the way I wanted to go out. I want to travel and read books and watch sunsets and do all the other things I never had time for. I want to live before I die.”
“You can’t die,” Ben said. “That’s impossible.”
“It’s all too possible, Benny. And maybe that’s why I was so drawn to help you when I saw you fall in the snow. I couldn’t save myself, but I could perhaps save you.”
“And your doctors?” Ben demanded. “What have they told you?”
“That I need to reduce stress, have the cholesterol filtered out of my blood periodically, and that a liver transplant is a possibility. The big one is stress, however. I need to be calm, not high on adrenaline all day long.”
Ben digested this for a time. “Should we… I mean, is it safe to… ah… is what we did earlier dangerous?” He stroked his hand along the silk of Simon’s robe, petting it like Simon was a large cat. “I don’t want to hurt you or—”
Simon lifted Ben’s face to his and gently kissed him. “No, sweetheart. My doctor recommended I have more sex, rather than less, as it’s been shown to be beneficial rather than risky. It was… I did try, but it seemed to cause more stress, rather than less, so I stopped. I’ve… how do I put this… sex has never been something I’ve excelled at. It’s largely been unsatisfying. Perhaps that was because I was never particularly attracted to women. But I’ve never been particularly attracted to men, either. So…”
Ben pulled down Simon’s head for a kiss. “Poor Simon,” Ben whispered against his lips.
“Hardly poor. I think I have too much money, rather than too little.”
“That’s not what I meant and you know it.” Ben kissed Simon again.
“All the money in the world can’t buy me a new liver.”
“Um. Can’t it?”
Simon pulled his head back and rested it against the chair’s seatback. “It could, if I wasn’t fussy about where the liver was coming from. That is something I could never do, however. It’s one thing to receive a liver from a willing donor who’s died in an accident. It’s quite another to pay for a liver and not know the circumstances of the person it came from. That’s… disgusting. I’d rather die young than know I lived because someone had been killed for spare parts.”
Ben shuddered. “That’s horrible.”
“It’s not something I’ll be a part of, so all the money in the world can’t save me from this body. It can, I hope, buy me as much time as possible. My cardiologist tells me that there’s no reason I can’t live a normal lifespan as long as I take care of myself, but the fear that I’m running out of time is always there.”
“That’s awful,” Ben said, then he yawned hugely.
“Oh,” Simon said with humor. “Was I boring you, Benny?”
Ben laughed through his yawn. “No! But I’m tired. It’s been kind of a long day.”
“It has,” Simon agreed, kissing the top of Ben’s head.
