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Ben’s hand, calloused but infinitely gentle, cupped the side of Simon’s face. “No. No no no. I already told you. You’re my home, not some pile of bricks. Whereveryouare is my home.”
More tears fell. Simon couldn’t hold them back. He pulled Ben close, wrapping both arms around him, and then rested his chin on Ben’s damp hair. “You scared me, Benny. You can’t do that to me again. I can’t have your love and then have it whisked away like a cloth off a table. I wouldn’t survive.”
Ben leaned his head forward until his forehead rested at the base of Simon’s throat. “Do we really need a piece of paper for you to be sure of how I feel?”
Simon sighed. “No. But I don’t plan on ever getting tired of you, Benny. You’re not some midlife crisis. Iloveyou. I can even see, in your convoluted way, how you might think not marrying me would be the best thing for me. I know you’re not interested in my money. You’ve made that abundantly clear. But Benny, you’re aware I have a heart condition. And while I am doing every single thing my doctor tells me to do, I’m not going to live forever. I want to protect you, sweetheart. My family is not small and I have no children. If you think getting divorced would be ugly, you’ve never seen a family squabble of over a fortune before.”
“Ugh.” Ben pressed his lips against Simon’s chest. “I don’t want to inherit your stupid money. I wouldn’t know what to do with it. Let your family have it.”
Simon had no intention of leaving Ben penniless in any circumstances, and it would be a hell of a lot easier, in his opinion, if everything was nice and tidy and legal, but he was willing to let it go for now and quietly update his will at the earliest opportunity. “I’ll just have to shower you with expensive presents, then.”
“I should bite you,” Ben said against his skin. He licked it but did not bite.
“Which reminds me. We always open presents at midnight on Christmas Eve. But if you want to wait until tomorrow morning, I’m sure my mother would understand.”
Ben pushed himself back into Simon’s arms. “Presents?”
“It’s a traditional Christmas activity. Buying presents, wrapping presents, opening presents. That’s how it works.”
“But I don’t haveanything—”
Simon dipped his head to kiss Ben, stopping his protest. “Hush. You can worry about that next year.”
“No. I have an idea! But I’ll need Hudson’s help.”
“He’s an unlikely elf.”
Ben turned big, puppy dog eyes on him, thus demonstrating that he already knew how to get anything he wanted.
“Fine, Benny. Go find Hudson and carry out your scheme, whatever it is.”
Ben bounced a little. “Awesome!” He went on tiptoe to kiss Simon’s lips. “I’m sorry,” he added. “I was trying to protect you, not make you cry.”
“I forgive you and I know how you can make it up to me.”
Ben raised his eyebrows. “Blowjobs?”
Simon let out an unexpected burst of laughter. “I was thinking you could marry me, but blowjobs are good, too.”
“Presents first, though. Blowjobs later.” Ben pulled away from Simon, who reluctantly let him go.
“Put on some pants first at least,” Simon said as Ben started to walk away.
Ben turned around, stuck his tongue out at Simon, then kept on walking back to the bedroom.
Simon put his fist over his heart, which hadn’t quite gotten over that scare. He didn’t want to experience anything like that ever again. But feeling anything, even that brief terror that Ben was going to leave him, was still better than the life he’d had before finding Ben.
Monday, December 25
The festooned living room
The Gold Coast
Despite the short amount of time he’d had, Simon had still managed to put a decent amount of presents under the tree for Ben. His mother’s presents had been mostly purchased months ago.
Neither ever needed anything, so long ago they’d come to an unspoken decision to buy completely unnecessary things for each other. Sometimes the results were hilarious, and at other times they’d managed to find exactly what the other person wanted, even if they hadn’t known that themselves.
Ben, on the other hand, needed everything. Still, Simon had tried to restrain himself. He’d gotten Ben new sketching pencils, an easel, paper, watercolors, oils, brushes, and a number of other things Ben might night need or want but Simon thought they looked interesting. In addition, he’d gotten Ben sapphire cufflinks and a watch.
