AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“Do you…” I swallowed, my throat suddenly dry as the desert. “Do youwantthis to be more?”
Oh, God, I thought pathetically,please say yes.
Did I want it to be more?
Fuck, I wasn’t sure.
I knew I wanted more of her body; there was no doubt about that. I knew I loved her company. I couldn’t remember laughing as hard as I had since I had met her in years. I knew I genuinelylikedher. But the idea ofmore, the idea of turning what we had into something official, something serious, scared the shit out of me. I wanted Navie in my life.Thatmuch I knew for certain, but if my past was anything to go on, relationships imploded and things turned ugly and bitter. That love you thought you felt for a person turned sour, bitter, and hate took its place.
I didn’t wantthat.
But the hope shining in the deep blue depths of her eyes knocked the wind from my lungs. I knew without a doubt that saying the wrong thing would send her away and I’d lose her completely. I was walking on egg shells as I tried to give her an answer that would accommodate what we both wanted… what Ineeded. Because the thought of her not being in my life, well, that was a pill I just couldn’t swallow.
“I don’t know,” I answered honestly. The moment the last word left my mouth, I watched those shutters drop around her. The light in her eyes flickered out and I knew she was just seconds away from shutting me out. Grabbing her hands and pulling her to me, I continued. “I don’t know what I’m doing, Navie. I want to be honest with you, you deserve that much. I don’t want what we had to be just a one-time thing. But I’m out of my depth here. I don’t want to make you any promises I can’t keep, but I will tell you this. I want more of this. I want more of what we had last night—”
“So… you just want to keep having sex?” I was losing her.
“No! I mean, yes.Fuck!” I paused to suck in a much needed breath before I royally fucked everything up. “Not lying, baby, Idefinitelywant your body again. And again, and again, and again. But I also like spending time with you. Can we just… can we take this one day at a time and see where it leads us?”
I inhaled my first relieved breath when that shine came back and her body loosened against mine. “Yeah,” she whispered. The smile that overtook her face made me want to kiss her all the more. “I think I can do that.”
“Thank God,” I sighed, earning myself the wonderful sound of her laughter. Then she lowered the boom.
“But I need to know one thing first.”
“What’s that, baby?”
“Who’s Bree?”
You know how movies draw out a car wreck, in slow motion, amplifying the squeal of the tires as the brakes lock up? The loud, jarring boom of impact, metal screeching as it’s twisted and mangled, glass shattering at an earsplitting level? Well, that was exactly what played out in my head after Navie asked who Bree was.
It was a goddamned car wreck.
“I’m going to need coffee for this conversation,” I answered, lacing her fingers through mine and leading her into the kitchen. I measured the grounds and started the pot to brew before turning back to Navie. Christ, she looked good sitting on my barstool in nothing but my shirt. She rested her elbows on the countertop and had her chin propped in one of her hands, shifting the top of the shirt just enough to give me a tantalizing view of her luscious cleavage. Before I could talk myself out of it, I was picturing running my tongue along that valley, reveling in the taste of her skin. That visual quickly morphed into me thrusting my cock between those two mounds, her dusky pink nipples standing at attention as I fucked her tits.
Son of a bitch, I was hard. Having a conversation aboutBreewhile sporting an erection was not an ideal situation. I sucked in several calming breaths, trying to tame my raging hard-on.
By the time the coffee finished, I had myself under control. I poured myself a cup and made one for Navie, sliding the mug across the counter to her. “Bree was my ex-girlfriend.”
“What thehell? But I thought you didn’tdorelationships.” The comment wasn’t sarcastic or biting. Her face held nothing but genuine surprise.
“And I don’t, not anymore. And I didn’t do relationships before Bree either, so to say I’m a bit out of practice would be putting it lightly. She was the onlyseriousrelationship I’ve ever had. And that fucker went up in flames.”
“What happened? I mean, I can kind of piece together parts of the story based on what you said to your brother last night, but I’d rather hear it from you than jump to conclusions.”
If I had the choice between reliving my past with Bree and shoving an icepick into my brain, I would have gladly taken the icepick. But considering what I had with Navie seemed to be at stake, I suffered through the pain and started from the beginning.
“I met Bree when I was twenty-five. I’d just signed my first book deal and had been out with some friends celebrating. She was at the bar that night with her friends and, well, one thing led to another and she went home with me.”Awkwardwas the only word that adequately described talking about an ex with a woman I was currently sleeping with, or at least hoping to sleep with again in the very near future. “Things moved fast from there and before I knew it, we’d been together for three years. Or at least, that’s what I thought,” I added bitterly.
“What do you mean?” Navie asked softly, pulling me from the haze of the past.
“What I mean is it wasn’t the most…conventionalrelationship. Yeah, we were together for a long time, and we spent a lot of time together, but we never did the typical shit that normal couples do. We never met each other’s parents, we rarely went on dates. When we weren’t together, most of our communication consisted of texting, not phone calls.”
Navie’s brows lowered into a deep V as she cocked her head to the side. “How is that even possible? I mean, when you’re with someone for three years, I thought that stuff justhappened, you know?”
I let out a derisive snort. “So did I. But I was young, and a fucking idiot, and she always had an excuse. She was working late, or had a meeting, or traveling for work. And I was the dumbass who never questioned her. I was at the beginning of my dream career, I had more money than I knew what to do with, and I was in love with the woman I planned on spending the rest of my life with. I felt ten feet tall and bulletproof. Nothing could touch me,” I finished, my voice lowering as I stared down into my coffee cup, the hole in my chest just as black as the steaming liquid that filled the mug.
“You really loved her,” Navie said quietly. It sounded almost like she was speaking more to herself than to me, and when I looked up I didn’t like the expression on her face. Contemplative combined with worry, and just a hint of sadness. Jesus, when had it become so painful to see that girl sad? It was killing me.
