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“I hope you know I’m keeping that.”
“It’s shitty.”
“No it’s not, and I wouldn’t care if it was. I call dibs.”
I laughed. “You call dibs on something I drew? How does that work?”
“My house, my rules?” He smirked. “Please? You made my butt look fantastic.”
“Your butt is fantastic.” I handed it over. Ugh. He had me wrapped around his finger. It was the worst.
“Thank you,” Sebastian said, and I took the plate from him. He grabbed his and sat at the counter beside me.
“So when can I expect your first piece of writing?”
He shoveled scrambled eggs into his mouth. “Sorry. Can’t talk. Mouth full.”
“I’m going to steal my artwork from you.”
“No take-backs.” He sipped his coffee, and holy hell, I hadn’t even touched mine. “Though I guess I could do some free-association writing. I’ll work on it. I would love to come up with an idea for a screenplay. I always told myself if I didn’t make it in acting, that’s what I would do. I just wanted to work on films—writing them, acting in them, directing. I love the whole creative process.”
“You should do it. You have a lot of dreams. I never had that. I was lucky to fall in love with bartending. I know it doesn’t seem like much, but—”
“It does. Dec, that place is a million times better than it was the first time I stepped inside. You’ve created something incredible; you’ve created a queer space for us to be ourselves. Don’t diminish that.”
I hadn’t even realized that’s what I was doing, but…how many millionaire actors would feel that way about a bar owner? Or hell, maybe I was being judgy. I knew Sebastian believed what he said. He wouldn’t have spoken the words otherwise. “Thanks, and yeah, you’re right. And I guess it helps me people-watch. Maybe that’s why I like it. Makes me feel connected since I don’t let myself in other ways.” Stop, stop, stop. Had he drugged me? Because I was saying a whole lot of shit.
He turned on his stool to look at me, then reached over and pushed my messy hair off my forehead. “I like you a lot, Declan. I know I said that the other day in the backyard, but I want to make sure you know it. I want to be real with you. I know my life is all up in the air, that I came here to sort out my head and figure out what I want, but I really want to be with you, and if you want that too, I hope we can find a way to make it work. I didn’t expect this, especially not so soon after Neil.”
“I wouldn’t do that to you. I hope you know that.” I fucking hated his ex and didn’t even know the guy. How could he treat someone like Sebastian as badly as he had?
“I know.”
“Good.”
“Wanna finish eating and then fool around?” Sebastian waggled his brows.
“I think that’s the best idea you’ve had all day,” I replied, thankful he’d given me the space to get used to what he’d said. I was a loner, and I’d thought I would always be a loner. My friends had changed my world when I was a kid, and now I was pretty sure Sebastian was doing it again, and I thought maybe I was going to let him.
We finished our breakfast, then blew each other and took a shower together. When I left, I wished I didn’t have to.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
Sebastian
When my doorbell rang a few minutes after Declan left, I didn’t look at the cameras before tugging the door open. “What did you forget?” I asked, then froze when I saw Neil standing there. “What are you doing here?” I’d given him the code to my gate when we first started dating, and now I saw that Declan was right. I shouldn’t just give it out to anyone, and I definitely should have changed it when I came back home.
“I was in LA. I wanted to see you…wanted to talk to you about everything.” His usually clean-shaven face had a few days’ worth of stubble along the jaw.
For a moment I considered slamming the door on him, closing and locking it and walking away, but I found that I didn’t really need to. Yes, I was angry with Neil. Yes, he was a prick who didn’t deserve my time, but the thing was, I didn’t care about him enough to concern myself with what he’d done. I’d realized I didn’t love him when I caught him with Drake, but I’d still been pissed. Now, even being angry felt like it took too much energy. I just…didn’t care. Neil and I weren’t meant to be. We never had been. If I let myself, I would admit I’d known that all along. I’d just wanted something that felt real, that felt like a relationship because I’d never really had it.
