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My cheeks warmed with the rest of my insides, butterfly wings tickling my stomach. I may have been safely in the foam pit, but I felt like I was about to jump all over again.
My eyes drifted from hers to her lips, getting even closer.
And then my lids slid close and I felt her lips press to mine. Pure magic. Pure bliss.
Eighteen
Kiyana
Stefonand I had kissed once, just to try it to see if we could convince ourselves to be something other than what we were, but it wasnothinglike this.
Kissing Xi was like breathing for the first time in my life. Exhilarating, exciting, and painful to know all I had been missing for oh-so long. She was soft against me, her lips like feathery pillows against mine. When I put my hand to the back of her neck, her skin was just as soft. And her body, pressing to mine now in the foam pit, had my heart racing, my breath speeding.
It was both the scariest and most natural thing I had ever done.
Her delicate tongue slid against my lips, and somewhere in my body, I knew to open my mouth, to let her in, to taste all she had to offer while savoring every second. She let out the sweetest moan against my lips, and it made butterflies flutter madly in my stomach.
Her fingers worked through the kinky hair at the base of my neck, and I moved my hand to her chest, feeling her heart race against my palm.
I smiled against her kiss, because I wasn’t alone. She was feeling exactly as I did. All adrenaline and excitement pumping through my veins at record pace.
She kissed me deeper, not in a hurry to end our embrace, and neither was I.
We kissed. For minutes, hours, exploring sensations new to us both, letting our touches light our bodies on fire in flames we’d never experienced.
And when we finally pulled apart, our chests heaved with gasps of air because everything was different now.
I knew that I had to come out. I knew that I couldn’t forgo this for the rest of my life.
I knew that I wanted to kiss, and be kissed, hold and be held, for the rest of my life.
Xi’s eyes were wide, stunned, and she took me in. “That was...”
“Incredible,” I finished, biting my tender bottom lip.
She giggled in the most adorable way, burying her face in the foam.
I reached out and took her hand, slipping my fingers through hers. I loved the way our skin contrasted. The way our fingers fit together, not one bigger or smaller than the other.
“I know this is crazy,” she said, “but will you go to prom with me? I don’t have a date yet, and it would be so fun to dance with you.”
My heart stalled twice. Once at the thought of dancing with Xi. How beautiful she might look in a prom dress amidst a sea of twinkling lights. But then my heart stalled again at the thought of other people seeing us dancing together...
Word would spread so fast and get to my parents’ ears before I was ready for them to know.
My hesitation had Xi looking down, looking away. “You don’t want to,” she said, her voice growing distant. “It’s okay.”
“I... can’t,” I finished.
She looked back to me, confused. “Why not? Are you busy?”
I couldn’t lie. “I’m still not ready for anyone to know.”
“I thought when you told me, it was because you were ready to come out...” Her lips pressed together as she tried to make the hurt on her face. “You don’t want to be seen with me. I get it. I’m just another secret to you.”
“Xi...”
“I know it’s hard for you, I do.” Her lips were trembling. “But do you know what it’s like to be the only lesbian at school? The comments people make about me? You have no idea because you get to lead your perfect life as the popular cheerleader.”
