Page 5 of The Dating Mishapp


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Bending, I retrieve my phone and see several notifications. As if doing something illicit, I swallow nervously and walk quickly toward my bedroom. “Night.” Just before I close the door, I call back. “By the way, if you call your grandmother again, you’re grounded!”

I hear Kylie’s laughter as she opens the fridge. “Yeah, right!”

Crawling into bed, I open the app, curious to see who the messages are from. Disappointment fills me when the first notification is from the app’s administrators, welcoming me to the platform and wishing me luck on my quest for lust or love. Instantly, I feel humiliated. These people don’t know me; how do they know what I’m looking for when I don't even know what I’m looking for. The second message informs me of a match.

Holding my breath, I tap the screen.Oh, my God!My eyes nearly pop out of my head when I look at the image of a man and a dog.

No freaking way!

ChapterTwo

Too nervous to look at the matches, I’d plugged my phone in to charge and ignored the niggling feeling to peruse the profiles. This morning, I see I’ve been matched with ten profiles.Let’s see who’s hereI whisper to myself as I pour a cup of coffee. I click through them, wincing in disgust at some of their profiles and their messages.

The only one of any interest is the man and dog. What are the odds of me getting matched with the same guy that Kylie did?! How is that even possible? Their algorithm must be wrong. There’s no way this guy could have anything in common with both a twenty-two-year-old who loves yoga, tequila, and adventureanda thirty-seven-year-old who loves rescue dogs, movies on Friday nights, and has a passion for cooking.

I click on his profile picture again. It’s not exactly as Kylie described, but his faceisveiled, and he is looking at the dog. I look at the other images, hoping to find out more about this man. Of the six pictures posted, there isn’t one of his entire face. In every picture, he is hidden by something orsomeoneelse. There’s one of him standing at the summit of a mountain looking out, hands clasped together at the base of his neck. I’ll give him one thing; he is huge and physically fit. There’s another of him hugging a little girl in a frilly pink dress, his hand cradling the back of her head as she smiles at the camera.Ah, yes. Now his profile name, DanDad007, makes perfect sense. He’s probably a married father looking outside of his union but doesn’t want to expose himself. Aside from his physical stature, his only redeeming quality is that he adores his German Shepherd.

Like a fisherman, this man probably cast a wide net looking to catch as many women as possible. The taste of coffee sours in my mouth and I dump the rest down the sink.

With her hair piled high on her head, Kylie shuffles into the kitchen, wearing a hoodie and leggings, and pours coffee from the carafe.

“Hey.” Her voice is raspy, and she looks exhausted.

“Rough night?”

She grins lazily and shakes her head. “Great night. You should’ve come; it was fun.”

Without warning, the Inquisitor in me surfaces, and I rattle off question after question.Who’d you go out with? Was that guy you’ve been seeing online there? What do you even know about him? Are you being careful?

“Whoa! Chill out, Mom. What’s with all the questions?”

“Don’t you ‘Chill out, Mom’ me!”

“I went dancing with Abby and we met some friends there. And no, I told you I haven’t met him in person yet. I’m just getting to know him.” She snaps her teeth. “What’s going on?”

“What’s his name?”

Her eyebrows knit together, but laughter spills from her lips. “None of your business!”

“Kylie!”

“Fine! His name starts with T.”

“T? That’s not a name and I don’t like him.”

She scoffs. “Mom, you don’t even know him! He seems like a great guy!”

“I doubt it!”

Abby walks in and immediately turns around when she feels the tension radiating between us.

“I don’t want you talking to him anymore.” I cross my arms with conviction.

My daughter scoffs. “I’m twenty-two. You can’t tell me what I can and can’t do.”

Ping!

“Icanand Iwill.” I feel like I’m having an out-of-body experience because I can’t believe the words I’m saying. Kylie and I never fight, nor have I ever spoken to her this way.

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