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“Do you need anything?”
Water helped, but he shook his head. He didn’t want her to see him as a damned invalid, like Arabella had. Arabella. What the hell was that memory? Was it a memory? Or was his mind playing tricks on him?
“Just go,” he said through clenched teeth.
He wasn’t an idiot. He saw the way she recoiled, hurt in her expression as she stood and nodded. “I’ll ask Janice to look in on you. To call me if you need anything.”
“I won’t.”
More hurt. He needed her out! He needed to think.
“Fine.”
She spun, leaving him alone with memories that made no sense and a headache that wouldn’t quit.
Arabella answered her phone on the first ring. “Xave?”
“Bella.” A tight smile crossed his face. Their easy friendship the one thing he could rely on from his former life and his new life.
“Is everything okay? You sound different?”
“Fine. Just a headache.”
“Uh oh. Have you had something to drink? Some water? Do you need to call Dr Finley?”
He winced, shaking his head, which only made the pain about a thousand times worse. “I’m fine. I just…” he cleared his throat. “How are you?”
She laughed. “Great. But you’re calling because you’ve remembered something. Right?”
Was he imagining the wariness in her tone? Of course he was. This was Bella – his rock. “Right.” She knew the headaches were usually accompanied by fragments of his past resurfacing. In the beginning, after the accident, memories had come hard and fast, repopulating a brain that was almost completely blanked of personal experiences. Now, he only experienced this a few times a year.
“What is it?”
“It’s complicated.” Shame at what he’d done to this woman, shame at the way he’d slept around behind her back made him nauseous for a whole other reason. “I’m getting married.”
Her sharp intake of breath signaled surprise, nothing more. Their marriage had ended amicably and very much by mutual agreement. There was no love between them, except of the friendship variety.
“That’s wonderful, Xave! I’m so happy for you!”
Silence followed.
“But you’re not happy about it? What’s happened? Who is she?”
“Someone from my past,” he began uneasily and then shook his head. This wasn’t a conversation for the phone. “Are you in Madrid? I’ll come over.”
“I’m not, actually. I’m visiting my aunt.”
“In Edinburgh? I’m in London. I’ll get my jet fueled and come straight up.”
“Nonsense. You know you shouldn’t fly when you’ve had one of your episodes. I’ll come to you. I have something I need to do in London anyway.”
He didn’t demur. She was right, as always.
“I think the dress is beautiful,” Nell said, smiling, as Apollo offered her a glass of water.
“I’m sure it is,” Apollo grinned, and Ellie couldn’t help contrasting this couple’s easy happiness with her and Xavier’s constant state of tension. They were always, without fail, on edge.
It was only days until their wedding and she had no reason to think matters were likely to improve once it was over. They’d be married, but they’d still be them. As loaded with hatred and despair as ever before.
