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As desperate for one another as they were now.
They were trapped by their past and locked by their desire.
She pictured him as he’d been earlier that day – the pallor of his skin, the way he’d grimaced in absolute pain. And the way he’d pushed her away, so obviously unable to tolerate her presence. He didn’t need her, and he never would
“Want to see it?” Ellie asked, distractedly.
“On Saturday,” he said with a laugh.
Nell laughed and then winced and Apollo was instantly attentive. “Are you okay, agape mou?”
She rolled her eyes. “I’m fine. You think I’m so fragile lately…”
Ellie watched their conversation with a dawning sense of comprehension, and it was enough to push Xavier temporarily from her mind. “You’re pregnant?” She said, the first genuine smile in weeks curving her lips.
Nell slapped a palm to her forehead. “Yes, but we weren’t going to say anything until after the wedding!”
“Why ever not?” Ellie asked, shaking her head and rushing to her sister, wrapping her arms around her shoulders.
“Because we don’t want to steal your thunder.”
“Steal my thunder? There is no thunder. You both know why I’m getting married. Now tell me some good news,” she enthused, taking the stool opposite Eleanor and listening as Nell relayed everything. Her morning sickness, her fatigue, the discovery that she was pregnant with not one but two babies!
“Twins?” Ellie laughed, shaking her head.
“Apparently, you carry the gene,” Apollo teased dryly.
“Apparently,” Ellie laughed, and all three of them were laughing, and happy and for a moment Ellie let herself pretend that life was problem-free. That she was as happy in general as she felt in that moment. She pretended that a huge axe wasn’t about to drop.
Hours later, Ellie walked to the door, accompanied by Apollo. “You look pale,” he remarked, when they were out of Eleanor’s earshot. “Are you unwell?”
“I’m fine,” she lied. “Just busy with all the wedding preparation.”
“You’ve just bought your dress,” he pointed out wryly. “How much preparation have you been doing?”
She bristled, and shook her head. “I’ve been getting Joshua settled into a new home, a new routine, helping him get to know Xavier. It’s been hectic.”
“Your marriage—,” he said, apparently searching for words, and Ellie was struck by how alike this man and Xavier were. How strong and charismatic and somewhat useless when it came to expressing any kind of emotional thought.
“Yes?” She waited.
“You know that you don’t have to go through with it?”
“What do you mean?”
“You can fight for custody, Ellie. I’ll help you.” He frowned. “I don’t like seeing you so obviously miserable.”
“I’m not miserable,” she lied, forcing a smile to her face. The last thing Apollo needed was to worry about his sister-in-law. Besides, she didn’t want to put Joshua through a custody dispute – she’d made her decision, and now she only had to stick to it. “I’m thrilled for you and Nell.”
And it distracted him sufficiently. His smile matched hers, except it was more genuine. She stayed a few more minutes, discussing the twins, and then she went downstairs and hailed a cab to Joshua’s school, every minute taking her closer to a future she knew to be inevitable.
Arabella looked just as she always did: ethereally beautiful, with not a hair out of place. She was dressed in dark jeans and a rollneck sweater with a black jacket, her hair styled into a bun, high on her head, and dark glasses on her face.
“Xave,” she exclaimed, her eyes roaming his face. She kissed his cheek, leaving a bright red lipstick smudge, and then pulled back to look at him. “Darling, you’re so pale.”
“I’m fine,” he dismissed through gritted teeth.
“You had a headache. Come in and tell me what happened,” she urged, never mind that it was his house and she was the guest.
