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She moved into the kitchen and he followed, watching as she flicked the kettle on.
“She came here because she was worried about me. The headaches I get can be debilitating – and they always accompany a memory.”
Elizabeth’s back stiffened visibly, her tension a force in the room.
“I asked her about what I had remembered, and she lied.”
Elizabeth said nothing.
“She didn’t understand the significance of the memory until you and Josh came back here.”
Nothing. He couldn’t blame her.
“Elizabeth? Arabella and I broke up a month before I met you.” At that, Elizabeth stilled – if it was possible. Before she had been unmoving and now she was like stone. Every cell of her body was held tense, taut, frozen.
“I couldn’t recall it; I lost so many memories. And she was wracked with guilt after the accident. She thought maybe I’d been drinking or something, mourning the demise of our relationship,” he spat the words, finding it impossible to conceal his anger with his ex-fiancé now, even when he knew her lie had been innocent enough.
He sucked in a breath, trying to cool his temper. “I didn’t cheat on her with you. Whatever happened between us that weekend was honest. Whatever I said to you, I meant.”
She was still not-moving. He made a growling sound and paced across the kitchen turning her in his arms. But her face was stricken, her eyes not meeting his.
“Do you understand what I’m saying?” He demanded. “It was over between Arabella and me. Long over. We weren’t in love. The engagement had made sense but she knew I didn’t care for her the way she wanted. It was all very sensible. Amicable. And over.”
Ellie shook her head. “But your parents – did they know?”
He frowned. “Why does that matter?”
She bit down on her lip. “I’m just trying to make sense of everything.”
“They didn’t,” he said. “We decided we’d break it to them together – they adore Bella, like a daughter – and I was travelling so much. We hadn’t had a chance to tell them.”
“But I thought you were engaged,” she said, still unable to implicate his parents in all of this, even when her heart desperately wanted her to. “She announced herself at the hospital as your fiancé. You got married.”
“She was caught between a rock and a hard place. My parents didn’t know we’d broken up and she didn’t want to tell them right after I’d been in an accident. Then I came to and didn’t even remember that we’d ever broken up. I thought she was my fiancé, and she believed it would be bad for me to go through our break up again. So she married me, when it was the last thing she wanted.”
“Oh, God.” Elizabeth shook her head from side to side and stared at him. “I think I’m going to be sick.”
“What?”
She shoved him aside and ran to the kitchen bin, retching over it and vomiting, her back wracked with the movements. He closed the distance and rubbed a hand along her spine until she was done. And then, she straightened, shaking his touch away.
“I wasn’t engaged, Elizabeth.”
“God,” she swallowed, and he reached for a glass, pouring her a water. “I can’t believe this.”
“I don’t understand? I thought you’d be pleased?”
“Pleased?” She repeated with obvious disbelief. “Why the hell would I be pleased?”
“Because I didn’t cheat on her. Or you. It was all genuine.”
“But I would have known that if I’d told you about the pregnancy! Don’t you get it? I’ve put us both through hell because I chose to keep Joshua secret from you! At least when I thought you’d cheated, I believed us both to have done wrong. I almost thought you deserved to have missed out on having Josh in your life because you were such a lying bastard! Can’t you see that? We were both culpable, or so I thought. But that’s not true. It was all me, all my fault.”
“No,” he spoke harshly, then frowned, because technically, he supposed, she was correct. But he couldn’t put the blame at her feet. Not when so many circumstances had been beyond her control.
“Yes,” she nodded, sipping the water then placing the cup down so abruptly it splashed liquid out of the sides.
She stared at him for several long seconds and he stared back, and then, with a softly mouthed, ‘I’m sorry’, she stalked quickly from the room.
