AllFreeNovel
Share Us
‘Tell me this,’ he said quietly, sipping his wine, then replacing it on the coffee table. ‘Do you love me?’
She jerked her head back as though he’d struck her and he waited, knowing Alicia wouldn’t lie. It was a trap—unfair, but necessary.
‘I—’ She rolled her lips together. ‘I’m a realist,’ she said after a beat. ‘I understand the limitations of our circumstances.’
‘Do you? Because when I look inside at my own heart and feelings, I see only possibilities. For ten years I have run away from you, and I have hated every day. Even my biggest successes have been overshadowed by personal misery. There is one perfect person on this planet, designed to be my other half, and I have been fighting that knowledge to the point I have been barely myself. So to imagine a future not only with you but with our daughter—this is not a limitation, but a world we could inhabit, if we were brave enough to step into it together.’
‘Don’t talk to me about brave,’ she said on a shiver. ‘I’ve been brave. I was brave when I found out about our baby, when I tried to tell you, again and again, when you said those awful things, when you started dating anyone with a vagina in Spain, when you went from strength to strength and all my professional ambitions withered and died. Do you have any idea what it was like when I had my baby, alone in hospital, no one with me except a midwife? And then Di came into my life as my saviour. I have been brave for a long time,’ she said stoically, lifting her chin, then fixing him with a defiant expression and wobbling lips.
‘I hate that you went through that,’ he groaned, the truth wrenched from him. ‘What can I say or do, Alicia? I stuffed up. Again and again. Every day that I fought my need for you I have hurt you. I see that. I acknowledge it, and I want to fix it. I have ruined the last ten years, but surely our future is still worth fighting for?’
Her chest shuddered as she inhaled. ‘I can’t do it,’ she said with a small shake of her head. ‘I’m so scared, Graciano. After you left, I changed. Trusting people doesn’t come easily and you—’
‘I know.’ He couldn’t bear to hear another description of his shortcomings. ‘I’m not asking you to trust me all at once,’ he said slowly, moving towards her.
‘Then what are you asking me for?’
‘A date,’ he said, his eyes holding a challenge. He lifted a finger between them. ‘One date. If you enjoy it, if you enjoy spending time with me, I will ask you for another. And another. And another. And as many dates as it takes for you to understand that my love for you is as real now as it was ten years ago. For as long as it takes for you to understand that I’m sorry. I will never disappoint you again, querida.’
‘And Annie?’
‘For now, she’ll know me only as your friend,’ he said, knowing he couldn’t afford to alienate Alicia on this score. ‘I would like to meet her,’ he said, cautiously, eyeing her, wondering if that was too much. ‘If you’re comfortable with that.’
She nodded unevenly, her eyes moving to the folder. He could feel her uncertainty, and he took a step towards the door. ‘You let me know when you’re free,’ he said quietly. ‘And I’ll arrange something. Okay?’
She bit down on her lower lip. ‘I—okay.’ Then, taking a step towards the coffee table, she gestured to the book. ‘Would you like to look at her folder together?’
Something inside his chest leaped. Hope. Desperate, aching hope. ‘Are you sure?’
She nodded. ‘I want to share it with you.’
By the time they reached the pages surrounding Annie’s sixth birthday, it was almost midnight, and Graciano’s words had been going around and around in Alicia’s head for a long time.
She closed the folder, lifting her face to his. They were so close it was almost impossible to fight the urge to kiss him.
‘The thing is,’ she said, eyes on his lips. ‘I do love you, you know.’
It was relief that marked his features, not the triumph she’d expected.
‘That is very good news.’
‘But I can’t...risk feeling like I did back then.’
‘And you don’t trust me?’
She tilted her lips to the side, considering that. ‘Honestly? I don’t know. But... I haven’t dated anyone, ever, really. It sounds kind of fun.’
‘You, my darling, deserve to be dated until your feet spin off the earth. It would be my pleasure.’ He moved closer then, brushing his lips over hers in a chaste kiss. ‘Thank you.’
‘What for?’
‘A second chance I’m pretty sure I don’t deserve.’
‘Everyone deserves a second chance.’
EPILOGUE
‘YOUKNOW, I thought you meant the movies, or dinner. Maybe a walk afterwards.’
