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Hit at the very core, my heart pounds. Drumming out of my chest. These battles of inner reflection are pure hell. Like staring down the barrel of your own bullshit. I justified to myself that my reasons and actions were to safeguard her from O’Malley, from Malcolm, from the press…the public. But to what end? At the expense of Dee’s burgeoning self-esteem? At the expense of our marriage? I’d nearly lost her before by trying to protect her.
I look into Dee’s gold-flecked eyes and face the moment of truth. Do I hold on to my deep-seated urge to shield her from the things I can’t control, or let go and trust in us to handle whatever going public throws our way?
I frame her hopeful face with my hands and take that picture into my heart. “You don’t deserve to be hidden away, Dee. You never did. I’ve been holding you back. Dimming the light of your courage and confidence because of my own fears and needs to keep you in this safe bubble of my making. I was wrong.
“I want you to take my name. No more sneaking around or pretending that we’re single. I want to build our life in the brightest of lights, not drape it in shadows. I want to shout my love from the rooftops, or in this case from the television screen.”
Tears swim in her eyes. “Do you really want that, Mick?”
Do I want to put her out there in the public, with the press and social media? Hell no. There isn’t any part of me that wants that. But do I want Dee to feel that I cherish her and our marriage, above all else? Then that’s an unequivocal yes.
“Let’s try this again, beauty.” I fix my gaze on her and take that leap. “Deeana Peters, will you grant me the honor of doing the interview and going to the gala with me?”
“Yes!” Her elated smile is like a sunrise. “I want to be by your side for both, Mick. For everything.”
I hold her close. My incredible, brave wife who loves me more than I ever knew it was possible to be loved. Who believes with unwavering conviction that our marriage is worth any risk, any battle, any sacrifice.
I kiss her neck, feel the flutter of her pulse. The soft underside of her jaw, the sweet moistness of her lips. I kiss her with tenderness and feel a sense of calm. Like the waters have settled. I cling to that, knowing that nothing in life is ever constant.
There will be rough and choppy waters ahead. Dee and I may face things I can’t even imagine now. But somehow, I know we’ll face them together, with the strength of love as our anchor.
ChapterThirty-Two
Dee
Asher Dumont is almost astall as Mick. He’s lankier and urban hip with a Vandyke beard and man bun. We’d recently met on a video call and I found him to be outgoing, energetic, and full of humor. I liked him right away.
“It’s nice to finally meet you in person,” I say upon his arrival.
“You are even prettier than I thought.” He gives me a long, effusive hug and kiss on the cheek. “Mick is a lucky man.”
“Stop pawing my wife.” Mick shoves him away.
“He’s jealous because I’m better looking,” Asher quips with amusement.
I smile at the banter, feeling some of my anxiety fade. “Come on in.” I lead him into the living room where we’re going to do the interview in an hour. “This is my friend, Lexie.”
She walks forward in ripped jeans that look chic on her and a sleek indigo jacket that matches her eyes.
“Mick mentioned you’re in public relations too,” he says, shaking her hand.
“Yes. At Chatman’s.”
“Good firm,” he acknowledges, impressed.
“Lexie’s been of tremendous help to me.”
“Dee didn’t need much.” She demurs. “I’ve just been giving her a few tips.”
“Right.” I bump my friend’s shoulder. “I didn’t even know the basics of what to do or expect.”
“You’re going to be great,” Asher assures. “Smart, gorgeous, and sophisticated. A child advocate to boot. You’re just right for Mick’s image of businessman and philanthropist.”
“She’s not an ornament,” Mick snaps.
“See?” Asher shrugs. “That’s why I don’t usually take on celebrity clientele. Too temperamental. But he begged me.”
Mick gives him the finger. It’s plain to see they get along well, ribbing each other in the way that men often do. I hadn’t seen Mick engage with another male his age, outside of Victor and James. I hadn’t shared that part of my husband’s life until now.
