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There’s so much sadness in her eyes when she replies, “I’m so sorry, that’s awful! I couldn’t imagine leaving my boys like that.”
I don’t know how her own marriage ended, Andrew never told me, so it’s my turn to ask, “What happened with Jason?”
She looks away, as if in thought. “He was a good man…isa good man. It just wasn’t meant to be. It was probably my fault it ended. Having a child who thinks differently, a lot of my time was involved with Aiden when he was first diagnosed. My boys were my focus, and I didn’t put a lot of effort into my marriage. Then I was promoted to VP, so between work and the boys, I don’t think I had enough time for Jason. The divorce was totally civil, and honestly, we are both happier apart than we were together. We are actually friends now. I know that’s weird, but I’m thankful to have that kind of relationship with him.”
We both sit in silence for a moment before she continues, “He is a great dad though. He just didn’t love me anymore. And if I am being completely honest, I don’t know if he ever did. I made mistakes, I didn’t make him a priority. He played minor league baseball, and got injured a few months after we got married. He took a job as a college athletics director so he could coach, but I don’t think it filled his cup the same way, you know? I should have done more to support him, even if he wasn’t in love with me anymore. I can’t blame him, I never loved him the way….” She doesn’t finish the sentence but I know how it ends.
My chest hurts hearing it, how on earth could someone not love my Emma?My Emma.She shifts to get comfortable. “It’s honestly why I am worried about things moving so fast with you, part of me has always questioned if I have ever been enough for someone. I either give too much or too little. I married him because it was easy, but I don’t think I ever gave him my whole heart. Last time I did…I just am afraid now. I keep everyone at arm's length, so I don’t get hurt.” This is my fault. All of it. I loved her,I still love her, but because of me she hasn’t truly loved anyone else. This ends now.
“Emma, look at me. I’m going to say something, and I need you to really hear it. You areincredible. You always have been. The fact that I made you ever feel less than that…I promise you that I will do everything in my power to make it up to you each and every day, to prove that you’re all I want, all that I ever wanted.” A single tear leaves her eye and I wipe it away with the pad of my thumb.
She lets out a deep breath, then says with a soft chuckle, “Well, that got heavy.”
I smile down at her. “Yeah, yeah it did. But I’m glad we can talk about this, and be honest with one another.” I lift her chin and press a kiss to her cheek where the tear fell. “I’m not taking it back, I meant what I said. I do love you…and before you say anything, I know you’re not there yet, but I will spend the rest of my life showing you how much you mean to me.”
She wraps her arms around me. “Thank you. Thank you for letting me take my time and not forcing me to rush into this, even if it feels like we are sometimes. I want you to know that I don’t take it lightly. I promise I will always tell you what I’m thinking. I don’t want to hurt you. And for what it’s worth, I hope you know that I really do care about you. I never really stopped.” She pulls back and shifts to get up. “I’m going to grab a cup of tea, would you like one?”
I offer my hand to help her get up, but I don’t let go, instead I kiss her knuckles. “Sure, whatever you make, I’ll drink.” She smiles down at me, her eyes soft, then leans down to kiss my cheek before heading to the kitchen.
We drink our tea and talk until well after midnight. She shares hilarious stories about her kids and I tell her about life as a girl-dad, since she never got to experience it. When she lets out a yawn, I’m saddened to hear her ask, “Mind if I go to bed?”
I don’t want this to end, but instead nod. “Sure, baby, it’s getting late. We have to get up early to beat traffic down the mountain.” I take our mugs to the kitchen and put them in the sink while she heads off to the bedroom.
I turn off all of the lights and head in to find she is already under the covers, almost asleep, “E, are you still awake?” She sighs, and says something unintelligible, so I crawl into bed with her, holding her close, not wanting to ever let go.
Chapter twenty
Emma
I'mwrappedinDylan’sarms when I wake up. I don’t want this weekend to end, but more importantly, I don’t want to leave the bubble that we have been living in for the last day and a half. I must have stirred him, because he pulls me closer, kissing my shoulder. “Good morning, beautiful.”
I can’t help but smile. “Good morning…I don’t want to get up,” I admit.
Feeling laughter against my back. “Me either, but if we don’t, we’re going to get stuck in traffic, and I need to get back to my girls tonight.”
It dawns on me, I didn’t get a single call all weekend! I check my phone and it’s still ondo not disturb. I open my phone to switch it over, and have four missed calls from Riley, twelve missed calls from Lily, at least three dozen emails, and a text from Ethan. Thankfully nothing about the kids.
I open my texts first and laugh at a meme Ethan sent me about how he needs to read his TBR books, instead of buying new ones. “What’s so funny?” Dylan’s voice startles me from my message.
I turn my phone to show Dylan the image. “Just this meme my friend sent me.” I then text Lily and Riley to let them know all is well, and that I’ll debrief them when I get home.
We get dressed, clean up the cabin a little, and pack our bags to leave. I hate saying goodbye to this place.It was the perfect weekend, and now we have to go back to our lives with work and children.
On the drive home, the silence is deafening so I ask if I can listen to my audiobook. He nods and I plug in my phone to stream it through the speakers.
We are almost home when his phone vibrates with a call. “Hey, mind if I plug in? I’ll need to take this.” I nod and unplug my phone for him to use it. He plugs his in and takes the call. “This is Dylan.”
“Sorry to bother you on the weekend, we just need to be sure you’ll have an answer for us by tomorrow.” The man on the other end of the phone sounds older, maybe in his 60s, and no nonsense.
“Yes, Norm. I am aware of the deadline. I promise I’ll have my answer by tomorrow.” It’s been a while since I’ve seen Dylan in a professional capacity. I don’t want to pry.What am I saying? Of course I want to pry!I know it’s none of my business, but I’m curious what this cryptic conversation is about.
“Thank you, we’ll chat tomorrow.” The man hangs up and Dylan blows out a long breath.
“Everything ok?”
He turns to look at me briefly before returning his eyes to the road. “Yeah, they just want me to take over the main office.”
“That’s amazing! But”—I place my hand on his leg—”why aren’t you more excited about this?”
