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On the drive home, I play back everything that just happened. I never lose my cool, but all bets are off when it comes to this woman. This can’t be it for us, I feel it in my soul that she's it for me.Did I just screw everything up by being a jealous asshole?I need to talk to her, and the only way is in-person. If this is it for us, I am not going to let her walk away in a text message.
Chapter twenty-two
Emma
Ican’tbelievehim!We spend a great weekend together, but then he gets all weird and possessive? It doesn’t make any sense. Except—devil’s advocate—Ethanisa huge flirt, and who knows what he said to Dylan.
We are almost to my car, but I stop him. “Ethan, you know I love you, right?”
He frowns down at me. “Of course, you’re my ride or die, babe! Even if I get married, you’re always going to be my number one.”
“Ok, so, you’ll tell me then. What did you say to Dylan to turn him into a caveman? I won’t get mad, I just need to know.”
He chuckles. “Just the truth. I called him out, told him he was an idiot and that he better not screw it up.”
“Ethan…” I’m using my mom-voice now.
“Ok, ok. I admit I was kind of messing with him. You know how I feel about this guy after he disappeared on you. You always thought he wasthe one. So I may have sort of, kind of, maybe a little bit, hinted that we were on a date…but not using those words. I wanted to see his reaction.”
“Why would you do that?! He’s my boyfriend...ish. I don’t know what we are, but I am seeing him again. Why would you make him think I’m dating you?” I’m so confused because Ethan and I have always just been friends. You know that saying,he’s just not that into you?That’s Ethan. From Dylan’s perspective, I’m sure it looked like I was about to enter some weird love triangle with my best friend, but it couldn’t be further from the truth.
He holds my chin, forcing me to look him in the eyes. “Emma-bear, I don’t like the guy. He doesn’t deserve you.”
“There’s a lot to unpack there. First, you have never in our entire lives called me Emma-bear, so please don’t start now. Second, I don’t care if you like him! I do! You should have at least pretended to be nice, and not act like you’re dating me, just to get a rise out of him.” He had no business overstepping.
Laughter comes from his chest and he wraps me in a tight hug. “Ok, ok. I’m sorry. I didn’t know he was so fragile. I’ll be on my best behavior from now on.”
I pause for a second before responding, “I don’t know if it will even be an issue anymore. If he freaks out when I go out for a drink with you, then maybe he isn’t the guy I thought he was.”
He kisses the top of my head and we walk the rest of the lot to my car. Taking my keys out of my hand, he unlocks and opens my car door for me. We say goodbye and I drive home. I can’t stop the negative talk in my head, reminding me that Dylan and I don’t really know each other. Not any more at least. I get so swept up in him—old habits are hard to break. I’m lost in my thoughts when there’s a new message from him. “Play messages,” I tell my hands-free system in my car.
“You have one new message from Dylan Alexander…I am sorry for tonight. Can I come by later?…Would you like to reply?” I ponder it for a moment, but I need to get home to Aiden. I just hope the sitter was able to deescalate him before I get there. I leave the message for later.
Once I’m home, Aiden is thankfully calm and sitting in bed, so I tuck him in. She said it took almost 45 minutes, but when he is dysregulated, that is record time! I check on the twins; luckily both are in bed reading too, so I kiss them goodnight and head downstairs. In the kitchen, I grab a my favorite mug from the cupboard, and my lavender earl grey tea. I pause for a moment, staring at the box before putting it back, and take out the chamomile.Great, he ruined tea for me.As soon as I start the kettle, I hear my phone vibrate on the counter. I let out a sigh. I am 1000% sure it’s going to be Dylan.He can wait.
I prepare my tea and grab my old e-reader. The new one has too many memories from the weekend. I pull up Amanda Bentley’s book that I started last week. The guy ties her up with Christmas lights, so that should get my mind off things for a bit.
Barely settled into one of my reading chairs, I hear a soft knock at the door.I swear to God, if it’s him, I’m going to lose it.I take out my phone to check my doorbell camera, and sure enough, there he is. I do not have the energy to deal with him, but I know he won’t go away, and we should face this head on.
When I head downstairs, I quickly glance in the peephole. He’s pacing. I suck in a deep breath and let it out before opening the door a foot or so.At least I’m wearing pants this time.“Dylan, what are you doing here?” I step outside and close the door behind me, I don’t want my kids to hear this.
He stares back at me with a combination of pain and lust in his eyes. Finally, he breaks the silence, “I’m sorry.”I’m sorry? That’s it?
Resisting my urge to go to him when he looks like a wounded animal, I hold my head up high. “Well, I would be sorry too if I started dating a woman, told her I loved her, had an incredible weekend giving her lots of orgasms, then lost my crap on her best friend…even if he was trying to get under my skin.” My arms are now crossed over my chest.
He looks down in shame, but there's little smirk creeping up his lips.Ok, maybe making light of it wasn’t the best approach.He responds, “Emma, I’m sorry I lost it, but you have to know what it looked like!”Wait…is he blaming me?!
I raise my hands in protest. “Whoa, whoa, whoa…you’re trying to pin this onme?I was out with a friend, and sure, he was trying to press your buttons, butyou fell for it.”
“E, can I please come inside, so we can talk about this?”
“What is there to talk about? I get a call from my sitter that my kid is having a rough night. You know Aiden thinks differently and has sensory differences. Well, this happens a lot when schedules or the weather change. I was already stressed out and came back to find you freaking out on my friend. If that isn’t a red flag, I don’t know what is.” I pause to take a deep breath. I know I’m talking fast, but I’m heated. “I know Ethan was being a dick to you. I already talked to him about it, but this isn’t about him. Look, we had an amazing weekend, but after tonight and whatever that was…I don’t know if this is going to work.”
He takes a step toward me, his hand moving up from my cheek and jaw, into the nape of my neck, and instead of a rebuttal, he brings me in for a hard and brutal kiss. I absolutely love kissing this man, but if I don’t stop I am sure he will strip me down right here. My hands find his chest to push him back a few inches. “Dylan, you can’t solve this with something physical. No kiss or orgasm is going to fix the fact that you didn’t trust me. You thought I was on adate, and instead of asking me, you let a guy get inside your head.” My breath is heavy. Part of me wants his mouth on me again, the other knows I need to be firm. I continue, “What is going to happen when I have a business meeting…with a man? Ethan only had his arm resting on the booth behind me and you lost it. He overstepped when he insinuated that I was on a date, but that doesn’t excuse howyouacted. You thought I was with someone else before you even approached the table.” I chew on my bottom lip. “Maybe this isn’t the best idea right now. Maybe…maybe we moved too fast.”
His hands find my face, a palm on each side, forcing me to look at him. “Emma, I know I screwed up, but you have to know that any man in my situation would have thought the same thing—that some guy was about to take his girl.”
I’m done going around in circles about this. He isn’t getting it and it feels like he’s trying to blame me and Ethan. I step away. I need to think of my kids right now.Can I imagine moving forward with this guy? Marriage and him being a second father to my kids?Right now, no. Not when he is all possessive and controlling. It’s one thing if it’s between lovers, it’s another when he is trying to control who my friends are.
