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“This has nothing to do with Ethan, and everything to do with you and me. You are the first andonlyman to really break my heart, but I gave you a second chance. I took a call that caused me to go into mom-mode, and came back to my best friend and my boyfriend bickering. You see how this looks?” He smiles at the label, so I clarify, “Yeah, I said it. It’s what I thought you were, after last weekend. Iwantedto be your girlfriend because this feels…real.But now? Now, I’m not so sure. Did I imagine it? Or is this just physical for you? You don’t trust me.”
His face falls. “Of course I trust you! And no, it isn’t just physical for me. I’m in love with you, and made the mistake of letting jealousy take over tonight.” He wraps me in a warm embrace and kisses the top of my head, murmuring into my hair, “I can’t lose you again, E. I won’t. If you want space? Done, I’ll give you space. If you want me to become best friends with Ethan? I’ll be buying matching t-shirts tomorrow.” I chuckle against his chest and look up at him. “Name it, beautiful. I would give anything to fix this.”
I take a deep breath. “Let’s just put on the brakes for a minute. I need some time to wrap my mind around everything and focus on my kids. I think you need to take some time to think about whether or not you can handle dating a woman who has a life outside of you…and maybe get that jealousy under control. Ethan is my best friend, he's always going to be part of my life.”
He reluctantly nods. “You’re right, E. I promised I would take things at your pace, and I meant what I said when this all started, about waiting for you.” He takes my hand and presses a soft kiss to my palm, then rests my hand on his cheek, his covering mine. “I screwed up tonight, please let me try to make it up to you?”
“Let’s just take some time. A break. Not like a Ross and Rachel break—because we all know how that one worked out so well. I promise you that I won’t be seeing anyone else until we figure out what this is.” I step closer and kiss him softly on the cheek. He doesn’t push for more, keeping to his promise. As I pull away, I miss his warmth, but I need to slow this down. “I need to get back inside. But first, are we ok?”
“I’m not going to disappear, if that’s what you’re hinting at. I’m not going anywhere, and I have no desire to date anyone else. How could I, when I’m obsessed with a fiery woman, who owns my heart? I’m yours, Emma.” I can’t help but smile at that. He takes my hand, kisses my knuckles, and squeezes three times before releasing it. “Can I call you tomorrow?”
I nod. “Yeah. Yes, of course.”
“Goodnight, beautiful.” He walks back to his car, and I watch him drive off before heading inside.
Chapter twenty-three
Ethan
Iadmit,Iwaskind of a dick. I have seen Emma through four big break-ups, including her divorce. Dylan disappeared to go hook up with some other woman, without even ending things with Emma first. That one broke her. She wasn't the same after—she was guarded and never really gave her whole heart away again. Instead she just masked, playing the perfect wife or girlfriend to whoever came along after him.
Two of her other boyfriends cheated on her too, which makes absolutely no sense to me. I know from personal experience that Emma is amazing in bed—even if we only hooked up in college. How can you cheat on someone you can bring home to mom and dad, but once you get home she’s a freak in the sheets? I blame the books she has to read for work, but she was always experimenting back in college too. Girl developed a serious praise kink, and I’m worried Dylan may have picked up on it already. To say words of affirmation is her love language is an understatement.
Her marriage really fell apart after Aiden’s diagnosis. If I’m being honest, it was already hanging on by a thread the last five or so years. Or maybe even before that, when Jason got injured and had to retire from baseball. He didn’t put any effort in, but neither did she. Sadly, I saw the divorce coming a mile away. They kind of just went through the motions, looking like the perfect couple on the outside, but I don’t think he really ever loved her the way she deserves. She didn’t love him either, so the divorce didn’t destroy her. They have a pretty good relationship now that they aren’t married. He's a good guy, just wasn'tthe guy.
I love Emma—no, not like that. She is my best friend and I don’t want her to be hurt by this human equivalent of a participation award. I am very protective of her. If it was any other guy, I would havetriedto play nice, but this is Dylan, her first love that broke her. I’ll be damned if I let him break her again.
After last night’s dumpster fire, I need to apologize. Not to the fucking unsalted pretzel of an ex-boyfriend of hers. I need to make amends with my girl. Emma is like avocado toast—you know, you always choose it, if it’s on the menu. She deserves a lot better than Dylan, who should have chose her in the first place. I take out my phone to call her, but spot a message from Lily.
Lily: What the hell happened last night? Emma called for an emergency buffalo plaid night, and Andrew said it’s because you and Dylan got into it?
Ethan: I called him out for being an idiot. I wouldn’t say we got into it.
I need to get an invite, make things right with Em. She always told me about her pajama movie nights with the girls, but I've never joined them.
Ethan: Can I come tonight? I’ll even pick up matching pants!
Lily: I don’t know. If Emma is ok with it, then yes. But you better be on your best behavior!
Ethan: I promise. Can I bring anything? Wine?
Lily: Yes, wine! Oh and maybe some crackers for the charcuterie board.
Ethan: Got it, see you tonight! I’ll get an extra pair of pj pants for your hubby too.
Lily: Oh my God, yes!!! You know how much he hates them. See ya tonight!
I am about to pocket my phone when there’s a new message, except this time it isn’t from Lily.
Emma: Yes, you may join in, but only if you apologize to Dylan.
Ethan: Lily moves fast! Fine, I’ll apologize, but I can’t help it if he doesn’t like me. Not everyone has good taste.
Emma: You’re impossible.
Ethan: Ok, ok. I’ll play nice. Give me his number and I’ll call him…even if he is a snowflake.
Emma: Ethan…
