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It suddenly dawns on me that she isn’t as strong and fearless as I always thought. She’d rather bitch and moan to me thandosomething about her situation.
“Sam. Sam!” Finally she stops complaining long enough for me to get a word in edgewise. “Have you talked to Frank about what’s bothering you?”
“I’ve tried, but he’s always watching TV or drinking beer.”
“At home, though. He’s not going out behind your back, or hanging out in a bar with a bunch of buddies, right?”
“Yeah. But he doesn’t pay attention to me, and he does nothing around the house to help me.”
“Then make it clear. You have to specify what you want him to do. What you need. And then if he doesn’t do it, there are consequences.”
“You make it sound like we’re in elementary school again.”
I sigh. Yeah, that’s a good analogy for both of them. “Things will only change if you have a serious talk with him. You have to say exactly what the problem is and specify what it is you want.”
“What if he’s a dick about it?”
I try not to let my frustration with her increase my volume. Why is it so difficult for her to ask her own husband for what she wants? “Then you’ll know he’s a dick. Why would you want to stay with a dick?”
“I can’t believe you’re telling me this. You’re the biggest doormat I’ve ever met.”
I wince, grateful she can’t see my face. “Yeah, you know me, I’m always on the lookout for the next guy who’ll wipe his boots on me as he walks out the door. I’ve dated a lot. I’ve seen a lot. You can’t stay mad at someone forever if you never told him why you were upset in the first place. The man doesn’t have ESP. He can’t read your thoughts, no matter how much he might love you.”
“Did you learn this in therapy?”
Damn, at this rate, I’m going to need a Band-Aid every time I talk to her. “She told me all of these things, but I never believed or understood it. Not until Charlie.”
“So he’s treating you well.”
Shocker. Now she’s going to ask me about my guy? “Yes. I love him.”
“So soon,” she whispers. “Are you sure?”
“Yeah.” I blow out a disgusted sigh. “I’m sure. When you’ve been through what I’ve seen and done and heard, then you know the real thing. It hits you…” I choke a moment and remember one of his phrases. “Like a bullet in the skull.”
“You sound different. Stronger. Surer.”
“Yeah. I am. It’s amazing what happens when I date someone who cares about me and builds me up instead of tearing me down.”
“Maybe you could bring him over this weekend so we can get to know him better.”
My heart aches so badly I touch my chest to make sure it’s still beating. “Not this weekend. He’s gone on a business trip and won’t be home for days.”
Please, let it only be days. Not weeks, or months, or, fuck, years. I don’t know that I can survive that long without him.
“Oh, I didn’t know he travels.”
“Yeah, this time he might be gone for a while.”
“How are you holding up?” Her voice sharpens. “Are you feeling like you did when Josh broke things off?”
“No, not at all. Josh wasn’t good for me. He didn’t help me deal with things. Charlie does. I’m too busy to mope.” Much.
“Well, if you need anything, give me a call. I’ve got to go.”
“Yeah, I will. Good luck with Frank. Love you.”
“Love you too.” She softens her voice and it’s almost as good as a hug through the phone. “Thanks, Sis.”
