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My stomach sank all the way down to my toes and a regretful sigh escaped my lips. He saw my interest wane and winced. “Lost some points just now, did I?”
“Well, you said it,” I replied wryly, my attention already drifting toward my phone as it lit up on the bar but I wasn’tthat rudeand so I forced myself to ignore it.
Sipping on the dredges of my Mai-tai, I eyed the pretty boy still smiling my way.
He did have a nice smile, enticing, and that adorably sheepish expression on his facealmostmade up for his rowdy friends that were even now, shouting uproariously, disturbing everyone around them.
It would be easy to fall into bed with him, easy to let this man whom I likely had nothing in common with ease my loneliness for the night. And hadn’t that been what I was look for…
My stomach churned and emotion pricked painfully at the back of my eyes.
If I was honest with myself, truly honest, I didn’t want to just ease it for a short time anymore.
I wanted somethingmoreand frat boy was not the long-term love of my life. I didn’t need to waste a night faking an orgasm to know that there wasn’t thatsparkeveryone talked about. And I wanted that.
I wouldn't settle for less.
I knew it was out there somewhere for me, I just needed to find it.
“I’m Shawn,” he said, trying to reel me back in with that pretty smile. And if it were any other night, I likely would have settled for it, but I was just sodonewith one-night stands and lame flighty short-term boyfriends.
Coming out was a mistake.
I wanted somethingreal.
But men sucked and so I was starting to worry that I’d have to settle for book boyfriends the rest of my life.
Then again, they’d never let me down. Never lied or cheated and they gave me a happy endingevery single time. Oh, and I never had to fake it.
Frat boy tapped me on the shoulder, pulling me out of a naughty daydream that I should be embarrassed to be having in public. I winced, smiling apologetically.
“Name?”
Blushing when he continued to smile even though I was being super rude, I ducked my head, feeling bad—but only a little. “I’m June.”
“Nice to meet you, June.” He held out his hand for a shake and I hesitantly returned it.
Surprising me, he flipped my hand over and placed a quick little kiss on the back of it.
I wanted it to be creepy, but it actually came off as sweet and maybe even a little gallant. He was good, I’d give him that, but I’d met a dozen more just like him and none had ever panned out.
I glanced down at my empty drink, frowning. My mood sure did plummet rather quickly.
I let Shane—er,Shawn—buy my next drink and even enjoyed the flirty banter for a few minutes but when he excused himself to run to the bathroom, I was relieved and immediately picked up my phone from the bar to make my escape.
I had a few texts from my roommate asking how late I’d be out which I answered before swiping away a notification for a phone update.
Home was only a little apartment a few blocks away and so after paying my tab, I gathered my beach bag and started walking.
The sun still had a few hours left to play but I wasn’t feeling a late night at the bar anymore.
I hated this dumpy feeling that had been following me around since my ex.
I missed the old June. The take-no-shit—doesn’t-need-a-man, loves-her-vibrators—June.
I didn’t need dick to make me happy. I needed books.
And thank the stars, I had plenty of those.
