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Would it be fatal?Nope.
It would probably save her a lot of heartache in the end, because if she actually got to a point where she was much more invested emotionally than ‘liking’ John… that is where she would be hurt.
No, it was safest to think of him just like any other person she met daily.
People contacted her when they wanted something, exceedingly polite the entire time, or even jovial… and then disappeared politely without reaching out again. It was a cycle that she’d become quite used to, and almost expected.
“This is never gonna happen – and you might as well face facts,” she breathed and quickly dashed away the tear that rolled into her hairline before closing her eyes again.
* * *
The next morning,Emily got ready like normal. Donning a sweater and slacks, she wanted something that would look nice… but also would be comfortable if she ended up going into the office to lose herself in paperwork in case he didn’t show up.
It was always good to have a backup plan to numb the pain… and crunching numbers was seriously mind-numbing.
Driving down the road, she thumped her fingers on the steering wheel to the pop music playing on the car radio, humming along… and hesitated as she saw his car was sitting in the parking lot, already waiting.
She was fifteen minutes early.
John was standing there, leaning against the car with his arms crossed over his chest and his ankles crossed easily where his legs were outstretched before him… and did he have to look so darn good?
Those faded blue jeans made his legs look even longer. He was already a tall man, and she barely came up to his shoulders. He had another bright white t-shirt on, but this time he was wearing a button-up dress shirt over the top that was a blue check pattern… and dark sunglasses that was the ‘piece de’ resistance’on the entire ensemble.
“Hey Emily,” he began easily, opening the passenger side door. “You’re early, too? Did you want to drive or shall I?”
“It doesn’t matter to me,” she replied easily as he slid into her car without another word.
“How’s your morning been?”
“Good,” she replied, realizing that he was trying to make conversation and struggling with it.Ouch, she thought. “My morning was good. Slept in a bit, hit snooze, had a cup of coffee, and checked the news… you know? Nothing big.”
“Ah. I see.”
“Coffee first?”
“It’s up to you.”
Emily was just about to pull out of the parking lot onto the main road and hesitated, putting the car into park and looking at him.
“Are you okay?” she asked bluntly.
“Yeah, why?”
“You’re not as relaxed as you were yesterday and I’m picking up on it. Do youwantcoffee? Or shall we go get your phone first and do coffee later… or should we maybe do something else altogether?” she asked candidly, watching him… and hesitated, knowing her next words were going to come out as confrontational.
“Or did you want to skip this completely and go with Jana after all?”
“What?” he balked, looking alarmed. “No, I really don’t want to skip this and…”
“Then what’s wrong, John?” she urged bluntly. “Because if it’s not the plans for today and not the coffee… then it’s probably me. You aren’t doing me any favors going out on a pity outing…”
“A pity outing?” he gaped, staring at her. “What makes you think that’s what this is? It’s a d-date…”
He actually stammered like he’d been caught, causing Emily to sigh heavily as she looked away, feeling an ache in her soul because she was getting her hopes up and…
“Emily?” he whispered, and she could feel his eyes on her.
“We’ll go to the phone store first. There’s one in town not too far from…”
