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Nikolai
After Abigail fell asleep, I sat like a frozen statue before I dared to move her to the bed.
I spent the night holding the woman I’ve fallen unbelievably hard for while she slept like the dead.
Christ, I miss her flirtatious nature.
I miss her carefree smiles.
I miss her sass and how she always said what she was thinking with no filter.
She’s not even a shadow of her former self, and it guts me to see her struggle. I wish she would open up and allow me to help.
I’m already late for my combat class with the third-year attendees when she starts to stir. Her cheek rubs against my chest, and her arm tightens around my waist.
She lets out a contented sigh that warms my heart, but a minute later, her head pops up, and confusion tightens her features.
“Morning,” I murmur, making sure to keep my voice soft.
Her eyes dart to my face, and for a moment, there’s only surprise, but then I see terror creeping back into her irises.
She pushes away from me and sits up. Sweeping a hand over her messy hair, she whispers, “Morning.” When she climbs off the bed, she asks, “You slept here?”
“Yes.” I get up and quickly put on my boots. “Did you sleep well?”
Abigail thinks for a couple of seconds, and with surprise flashing over her face, she nods. “I did.” Her eyes dart to me. “And you?”
A smile curves my lips. “I got to hold you in my arms, so I slept like the dead.” Worry darkens her eyes, and it has me asking, “What’s going on in that head of yours?”
She glances in the direction of the living room, her teeth tugging at her bottom lip before she answers, “I can’t be in a relationship.”
“I know.” Her gaze darts back to my face as I explain, “I just want to be your friend, Abigail. I’m not sure what happened to you, but I’m hoping you’ll let me be there for you.”
“Just friends?” she asks, even though I can see she doesn’t like the sound of that.
“Until you decide otherwise,” I assure her before admitting the truth, “I’ll take you any way I can have you.”
Her eyebrows draw together, and she looks so fucking sad all I want to do is sweep her into my arms and never let go.
I fist my hands by my sides to keep from grabbing her to me.
“It’s unfair to you, Nikolai.” Her voice is hoarse, taking a swing at my heart.
Slowly I move closer to her until I’m able to place my hand against her cheek. “Being forced to the sidelines while I have to watch you struggle alone through this trauma is unfair. I know this isn’t about me, but I’m begging you to let me in. Let me comfort you and give you the strength to get through this.”
She lowers her head, so I can’t see her eyes before she shakes her head.
I press a kiss to her forehead, then say, “I’m not going anywhere, Abigail. I won’t ask questions and will just support you. Okay?”
Still not looking at me, she nods.
I kiss her forehead again before stepping away from her. “Go out into the garden and paint,moya lyubov'.”
She nods again, and as I walk toward the living room, I hear her ask, “What do the words mean?”
I stop by the door, and opening it, I glance back to the bedroom where she’s standing. Our eyes lock as I admit, “My love.”
Again sadness washes over her features, and I hate leaving her but force myself to step into the hallway, shutting the door behind me.
