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What will happen if I refuse him? Will he be angry? Will it destroy this tentative friendship between us?
It’s been almost a month since the rape, and Nikolai hasn’t even tried to initiate a kiss. Maybe I’m just overthinking things?
Should I go?
Should I stay?
Ugh.
Standing up, I walk back to the entrance, and when I reach the dining hall, I almost bump into Caspian and Duarte.
I quickly move out of their way and rush to the stairs so I can get to the safety of my suite.
I hate St. Monarch’s. I despise the training, the people, and everything that’s happened to me since I got here.
More than ever, I want no part in my father’s business.
This life will kill me. I’m sure of it. I wish there were a way to escape it.
And Nikolai only has one week left. Once he leaves…
I can’t even imagine it.
Go with Nikolai to the island. Buy some more time with him and get away from this place. Even if it’s just for a week. You can tell him you’re not open to intimacy and you’re only going as a friend.
Will that be enough?
“Abigail,” I suddenly hear Nikolai behind me, and startled, I spin around. He instantly stops walking. “Are you okay?”
“You just caught me off guard.”
Cautiously he takes a step closer, his sharp gaze searching my face. “Are you going to your suite?”
Taking a deep breath, I nod. I walk to my door, and opening it, I pause. I glance over my shoulder, and gathering my strength, I ask, “Does the offer to visit your home still stand?”
The corner of his mouth lifts in a hot smirk. “Of course.”
My eyes lock with his. “I’d love to see your home.”
A relieved smile spreads over his face, that has me staring at him like an idiot. I’ve never seen him smile like that before, and it makes him look…loving.
“I have a condition, though,” I add. “I’m only going as your friend.”
Nikolai steps closer to me before nodding. His eyes capture mine, a serious expression making him look like the ruthless blood diamond king he is.
“I promise you will be safe with me. The vacation is purely for you to relax. I don’t expect anything from you.”
His words make me feel emotional, and I worry that he’s figured out I was raped.
I search his eyes for any signs of pity but can’t find any.
I step into my suite, then pause again to say, “I appreciate everything you do for me, Nikolai. Thank you for being my friend.”
His eyes warm as he looks at me. “You’re welcome,moya lyubov'.I only want what’s best for you.”
Hearing the words ‘my love’ once again has me wondering why he chose to call me that.
Surely, he doesn’t love me? Right?
