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Fortunately, he lives far enough away that I have time to breathe before I get there. I don’t want to be so wired from anxiety that I crash my car, especially because it looks like it might rain.
Part of me feels like I’m making a huge mistake. My gut is telling me to turn back, to forget him and put my baby up for adoption. Or maybe I would find a way to keep it. I’m not sure. Nothing about my thinking is rational right now.
Is this how people are supposed to solve conflicts? I have a feeling that it isn’t.
Even driving the exact speed limit feels too fast as my mind races. Should I pull over and call someone?
No. Fuck that.
Matteo is going to remember me, for better or for worse. I won’t let him think that he’s gotten rid of me just by talking down to me.
The drive begins to drag on as my heart races, beating against my sternum as if it could break it in half and free itself. Maybe I should let it. It’s done me no good.
32
Matteo
Getting a call from Iris threw me off a hell of a lot more than I was expecting it to. I knew I hadn’t seen the last of her, but I never thought that a simple phone call would put me out of my head so much.
I’m getting ready to leave my house with my fleet to find Vitale and kill him. We’ve gotten convincing intel that points to him hiding out in a crack den on the south side. I’m lucky that he’s terrible at picking peers, because one of his own men informed us of his location.
This is the day I’ve been waiting for, six months in the making. I’ve been hunting Vitale for six fucking months, running around in circles like a fucking idiot while he dances around my assassination attempts.
“Hey, are you sure about this? I know you want to jump on it while you have the chance, but it might be better to wait until we’ve pinpointed his location ourselves. Why would you trust someone he hired?” Leonardo asks, always the wind beneath my wings.
I pull a cigar out of my pocket, lighting it as I walk out to the front of the house. He follows me, waiting intently for an answer.
“You know, you need to trust me a little more. I’m not an idiot. I know that it would be extremely unwise to take advice from an adversary off the cuff. But I’ve done my own research, and apparently this guy was hired as a spy from one of the other families. He wasn’t getting paid enough, so I offered three times what he was making if he could tell me where Vitale is,” I explain.
Leonardo seems skeptical, but a bit less worried. I know he wants to trust me, so I don’t hold it against him. We’ve all been through a lot in the last few months. Sometimes it’s hard just to get a deep breath.
As I’m making my way out to the car, I see an unfamiliar vehicle peel into my driveway, just narrowly missing the koi pond along the main entry.
“What the fuck?!” Leonardo shouts, pulling his gun out of his jacket holster and pointing it at the car.
“No! Wait!” I scream back as I look more closely at the person driving the car.
It’s Iris. Goddamn it. What could she possibly want now?
She parks her car in a quite unique way, diagonal to the front of the house, and slams the door as she gets out.
“Matteo! Do not ever fucking hang up on me again! I am pregnant with your child, and it’s up to you to either be a man and take responsibility or leave your baby alone with me to fend for ourselves!” she shrieks.
Oh my fucking god. I couldn’t invent better drama if I starred in an MTV show.
“Iris! I fucking know that you’re pregnant!” I shout back. “I already know that! It’s pretty fucking obvious when you’re naked!”
I know it was mean to say that, but it’s true. How else would I have known?
She recoils, disbelief coloring her once-enraged expression. Whatever demon has taken over her has suddenly left the building.
“What? You knew this whole time?” she asks.
I calm my voice a little, trying to deescalate the situation before it blows up in my face. “Well, obviously not thewholetime, but yeah. I figured it out when we were having sex.”
Her eyes grow large and watery, and she leans against her car as if she’s embarrassed to have come out here. Honestly, she should be, but I’m going to try and handle this the best I can.
“I figured there was a reason you were hiding it from me. I mean, what was I supposed to think? You kept covering yourself, trying to keep your shirt on, stuff like that. You weren’t bigger anywhere else, so it was easy to figure out.”
