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The AI kept going like I hadn’t spoken. “…frozen broccoli and cauliflower mix, and a box of chicken and cheese taquitos.”
I sat up in bed. “Frozen taquitos? Ohhell yeah.Counselor, preheat the oven to three-fifty.”
“The recommended baking temperature for taquitos is four hundred,” she replied.
I gave Owen an approving look. “You know, I’m starting to come around to this Home-AI thing.” Then, to the ceiling: “Good call, Counselor. Let’s do four hundred.”
“Preheating oven now.”
“I was going to order take-out,” Owen said.
“You can get whatever you want,” I replied. “I’mhaving taquitos.”
“Counselor,” Owen said, “don’t take commands from Amber anymore.”
“Negative,” she replied. “AmberCunt-wafflehas administrative privileges to the system.”Cunt-wafflewasn’t a pre-recorded word; it was a jumble of existing sounds thrown together.
“Damn,” I said. “I should have guessedcunt-wafflewouldn’t be in the word database.”
Owen jerked in surprise. “How the hell do you have admin access?”
I smiled sweetly at him.
“Counselor, when were administrative privileges granted to Amber?”
“Amber Cunt-waffle was given administrative privileges forty-six hours ago.”
“The package delivery system downstairs,” I revealed with a giggle. “The security on it hasn’t been updated since the building was built. It gave me easy access to your home AI.”
“Oh, you’re bad,” he said, smiling with appreciation. “I specifically requested that younothack my condo again.”
“I hacked it two days ago,” I said defensively. “And I also warned you I couldn’t make any promises.”
Owen’s smile turned hungry again. “Counselor, turn off the lights. You’re not going to want to see what I do to Amber.”
The lights dimmed. Owen pounced on me, and this time he was far from soft and loving as he ravaged me.
34
Amber
For the next week, things were amazing in every way. I spent all day working at a job I loved, for a company I had a huge stake in. I had people working for me, people who looked up to me as an authority figure. When I made a suggestion or gave an opinion, it was followed. I may not have liked the other aspects of being a manager, but Ilovedthat part.
Bouncing back and forth between Jude and Owen was also keeping me busy. I alternated between the two, sleeping at one of their places and then the other’s. I didn’t go home for five straight days.
And when I did, Michelle immediately knew something was up. I didn’t even have to make a list in my head: I immediately told my sister what was going on between me and Owen.
Her reaction was hard to describe. It was similar to how our neighbors reacted when the Warriors won the NBA Championship a few years back. Or maybe like someone who had just won the lottery. There was screaming and disbelief and lots,lotsof questions.
“On my birthday, I wished for you to hook up with a guy,” she said. “I didn’t expect you to hook up withtwoof them!”
She was worried about Owen’s and Jude’s relationship, and the fact that both of them were my bosses at the company. But otherwise she was totally supportive, and totally jealous.
“I only have one dumb boyfriend,” she muttered.
“Neither of these guys are my boyfriend,” I pointed out. “Our relationships are strictly physical. Jude made that very clear.”
“And Owen?”
