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Each word is a dagger into my skin, striking another harsh blow. They all hate me now. Gone are their affections and love in mere moments of discovering who I am or who I used to be. I’m not that girl anymore, and I honestly didn’t think they were those guys, but I guess we are all wrong.
“Yes, I used to be her. That’s not who I am anymore. I’m Mia Stratford; that is who I am. That is who has protected you four, not Amelia Hamilton. She would have left you to your own fucking fate. But keep looking at me and judging me like any of you aren’t monsters too.”
“How could you do that?” Carter’s words come out barely above a whisper in the tension-filled room.
“How could I do what, Carter? Protect you? Save you? Barter my freedom and future, not once but twice for all of you? Put a gun in my mouth and almost kill myself to come save you? Yes, how could I? It looks like I should have continued to be Amelia Hamilton. You would be dead at your father’s hands, and Theo would be a sex slave at his father’s.”
I stare at each of them before turning away, filled with disgust. I always knew this was going to happen. It’s why I tried to hide it for as long as I could. Some part of me knew they would turn on me the minute they found out, regardless of what I did for them or how much time we spent together. Their feelings are fickle, and it seems mine were misplaced.
I can’t stand to be in the room for another minute with them. I need to get out of here before completely losing what’s left of me. They destroyed Amelia Hamilton. I won’t let them do the same to Mia Stratford. I barge past all of them, and when I reach Mateo and June, he recoils from me like I’m something to fear. My feet stop moving; I want to reach out to him. I want him to see how much I care about him on my face and in my soul. “You’re my world, Mateo.” The words are whispers leaving my trembling lips, and I can see that he doesn’t register them, so filled with hate at knowing I’m Amelia. June’s eyes widen, though she heard me clearly, and her grasp on him tightens. I bite down hard on my lip to prevent the anguish that wants to escape my soul.
Once I’m out in the hallway, I hear Raegan once again shouting, but right now, I wouldn’t stop her from hurting them for all the money in the Stratford coffers. Let her rip them apart like they just did to me. I’m done.
I come back to myself with a start, so lost in the memory that I didn’t hear my sister speaking to me. I shake my head, hoping it will clear the fog, but I know it won’t. I barely slept last night—my mind and heart were in complete turmoil. I walked the back grounds for hours, continually trailed by a guard at a distance. I’ve come to no clear decisions this morning, only the evident devastation that is my heart where these kings are concerned.
“Mia, are you listening to me?” Isabella grasps my hand, squeezing it tight, her bright blue eyes meet mine with concern.
“No, I’m sorry, Issy, I didn’t.” My gaze moves over her, and I watch as Finn and Theo move into the kitchen area, each grabbing a piece of french toast and moving to the breakfast table with Carter at the far end of the room. The part of me filled with anger at their betrayal wants them to choke on the food I’m providing.
“I said, grandmother, will be here Friday night.” My eyes meet Isabella’s, and I see the worry in them. When my grandmother finds out what these guys have tried to do to me, how they have turned on me, she will throw them all out of here. Regardless, if Vincent Saint-Lambert is still out there actively hunting them.Good, it’s what they deserve—my mind whispers.
“I’ll deal with it, Issy.” I squeeze her hand and then pull away. Holding on to her is a weakness. I can’t let them see how much they have hurt me. That’s what they have always wanted. To destroy me beyond repair until even the shattered pieces of my soul are mere dust. I have news for them, though; I’m a survivor. I’m strong, and I will not allow any of them to have that kind of power over me.
I watch from a distance as the three of them whisper amongst themselves. Finn looking more agitated by the moment. Carter keeps throwing me covert glances; when he catches me staring, he looks sharply away. A throat clearing has me turning around and capturing all our attention.
Mateo and June are standing in the kitchen doorway, hands interlaced together and her body pressed tightly against his. A sharp pain fills my chest and I have to force myself to look away from them.
“Is it ok if we grab some food?” Mateo’s voice sounds shaky and lacking confidence in the now silent room.
“Of course, help yourselves.” I indicate the food on the counter and move around them, trying to escape the space. My appetite has vanished, and there is no way I will force myself to be subjected to watching them all together. I may be strong, but even I can break.
Chapter 44
Theo
“Fear defeats more people than any other one thing in the world.” Ralph Waldo Emerson
Iwatchherleavethe room, trying to be strong at all that is happening around her. She’s projecting indifference, but I know my Mia. It’s all a fucking act, and her heart is breaking inside of her. My eyes were on her when Mateo entered the room, holding hands with June. Mia’s reaction was filled with pain before she schooled her features to a look of indifference.
Yesterday was insane between what I put her through and then Carter almost immediately after. It’s a wonder she hasn’t yet had Tom remove us all from her house at gunpoint. I know it’s coming, and I’m trying to convince these fools that it might be best if we left. The problem is Mateo. He’s in no shape to leave, and we have no way of protecting him and June.
I feel the heat of someone’s glare on me and raise my eyes to see who it is. Raegan and Isabella are standing near the stove, both of them glaring at each of us like they would love nothing more than to castrate all of us.Fuck, I get it and agree that we deserve a beating after what we put Mia through yesterday.I watch as Raegan holds a chef’s knife in her tight fist, no doubt envisioning stabbing all of us with it. Isabella leans in to whisper something in Raegan’s ear, then they leave the room without a glance back at us.
I drag my hands through my hair with force. At this point, I’ll be lucky if I still have any strands left by the end of the week. I watched Mia walk the grounds last night from the shadows. She never shed a tear, but she looked devastated. The weight of the world is on her shoulders. We hurt her badly last night and without warning.It’s what we have to do, to push her away.It’s the only way we keep her safe. I want to chase after her and beg her forgiveness. I don’t know if I can keep this farce up much longer.
I want to reassure her that I don’t give a shit that she was Amelia Hamilton, fuck, she could beBuffy the Vampire Slayer, and I wouldn’t bat an eye. I don’t care about any of that. The girl I’m in love with is this one. The strong warrior queen that will do anything and everything to protect those she cares about. The one that dragged me out of the darkness, kicking and screaming. The girl that refused to bow down to us and put a gun in her mouth to force her grandmother’s hand.
What the fuck have I done? Maybe Finn was right; there has to be another way. One we aren’t seeing. Perhaps I should have tried to talk to Stella first instead of hurting Mia the way we have. She feels betrayed right now. She’s hurting, and once again, it’s the kings of Casbury’s fault.
June and Mateo move around the counter, putting items on a shared plate. When Mateo tries to lead her to the table we are sitting at; I watch as she pulls back and stares up at him with fear. I get it; she doesn’t know us fromAdam. Here we are, three large males, all filled with tension at the situation we find ourselves in. To top it off, I look like my fucking father.
I move to leave the table, and a small whimper escapes June’s lips. Fuck, what am I supposed to do here? I don’t want to traumatize her further. Mateo leans down and whispers softly in her ear before kissing her forehead. I watch as some anxiety and fear leaves her as they continue toward us.
When they reach the table, Finn pulls out two chairs, moving his own chair away from them and closer to Carter’s and mine. My eyes meet Mateo’s, and I see the anxiety there. He always tried to hide it, but he never could from me. “Are you fuckers insane pulling this shit on Mia? Our Mia, the one we all love.” He doesn’t wait for any of us to answer before he speaks again. “She saved you, Theo, and you too, Carter. Fuck she never gave up looking for me; Diego told me so last night. How could you fuckers hurt her like that?”
“It’s not that simple, brother.” Finn sighs.
“Yeah, it fucking is. I don’t care who she used to be. I watched that girl put a gun in her mouth to come after you two and then agree to marry my cousin to save you.” Mateo’s green eyes glare at each of us. June bows her head at his tone and seems to shrink further in on herself.
