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Her eyes go wide. "God, no. I’m way too young for any of that, and I'm enjoying my job way too much to even think about starting a family. But it's nice to borrow yours. We really did have fun."
"Glad they were well behaved for you."
"What did you do with your relaxing afternoon off?"
I look at her, wondering if I should go into my interesting turn of events as I left the house. But I figure she’s the one who is there for me the most at the moment, and I need to get this all out before the thoughts in my head drive me mad. "I ran into Heath on my way out. We went to a café to catch up," I tell her, my words coming out as strained as I feel about the whole thing.
She raises a brow. "So what happened?"
"We talked." I shrug, like it wasn't a big deal, even though it really was. He was a lot better about the whole situation than I thought he was going to be.
She rolls her eyes, losing her patience with me. "You're killing me here. What did he say, Millie?"
"He wants to be a part of Connor’s life."
"That's good, right? Why do you look so worried?"
"I don't know what it's all going to mean for us. You know how much I hate change. Of course I want him in his son's life, it's the best-case scenario here. But I'm just worried, I guess. I have been the sole carer for my kids for four years, really their whole lives, and now there will be someone else in their lives. What if he has a taste of the family life and he works out it's not for him? It will crush Connor." And me.
"Do you really think he’s that kind of guy?"
"No, but do I really even know him anymore? He’s been away for so long, living a life we can’t even contemplate. There is no way he's the same person he was when he left."
"That doesn't have to be a bad thing. He’s more mature, so maybe he knows what he wants with his life now, and you two can rekindle the love you once had?" She looks at me with dreamy eyes, and I know she's picturing the perfect picket-fence family now that she herself is all loved up. But that’s not us.
"That's not what this is about, Cass. This is about Connor. Even if I wanted to go there..."
"You can't tell me you don't. He's gorgeous, Millie, you must be having all sorts of dirty thoughts about him. I know I would be. And you said so yourself, there was chemistry."
I give her a hard look so she knows to cut all the happily-ever-after shit out. It's not what I need to hear. Besides, I already went there, and it was insane. "As I was saying, this isn't about me or him. It's about what is best for my kids, and getting involved with him in any way other than some sort of co-parenting type of arrangement isn't a possibility." Again.
Brandon joins Cassie, handing her a drink. "What are you two over here whispering about?" he asks, looking between us, like we might be conspiring against him.
“Just sister stuff.” Cassie smiles, reaching up to kiss him.
“Anything I need to take care of for you, Amelia?” he says with an edge to his tone, and I’m grateful to know I have him looking out for me.
I give him a look. I know what he’s asking me. Should he and his buddies the Rivera brothers take care of him for me. He offered to do the same when he found out what Declan had done to me. Definitely not what I want to happen. I’m a big girl, and I can sort my own shit out. “I appreciate the support, but no. I have it all under control.”
I glance over to the open doors to see Jasmine arriving with Axel, his arm wrapped around her shoulders as she snuggles in close to his body. A wave of jealousy washes over me. I'm not normally envious of what my sisters have, but as I look to the three of them, all loved up in their happy little bubbles of relationship bliss, I realize I'm the odd one out. I'm the oldest, the one who is supposed to have her shit together, and I’m the biggest mess of all. Divorced with two kids to two different men. It’s been so long since I have had a man in my life that has held me in the protective way Axel does with Jas, or the way Brandon plays with Cassie’s hair absent-mindedly while they chat, or the way Brad dotes on Andy, treating her like she is some goddess, even though we all know she's a brat.
I'm not sure I ever really had it with Declan. He wasn't so much in love with me as I was a possession he wanted to acquire. I made him look good in the ritzy circles he socialized with, one of the reasons we married so quickly after finding out I was with child. He was all about keeping up appearances, and so were his family and mine, apparently, with how quickly we were rushed down the aisle.
"Hey, Amelia, how was the reunion?" Jasmine pulls me into a hug. She was gone by the time I got home last night. With the kids in bed, she left Cassie to it, and I haven't had a chance to fill her in, but honestly, I don't think I can get into it again now.
"Hey, Jas, it was fine. You look very happy," I tell her; she is practically glowing today. I noticed the same thing when I saw her yesterday.
"I am." She smiles sweetly, squeezing my hand. "Are you all right? Cassie said it didn't go so well last night."
"I'm okay. I just went for a drink with Heath, and we talked about things. I'll fill you in on the details later," I tell her.
"All right," she says, her teeth nibbling her lip, and I know she is dying for all the details now, but she is trying to be respectful.
"Aren’t there more important things to discuss anyway?" I glance at her belly, a slow smile crossing my face.
"How did you know?" she whispers, whacking me on the arm.
"I'm the oldest sibling, it's my job to know what's going on with everyone. And you, my dear little sister, I can read like a book."
