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"Stop overthinking it, Amelia, just go and have lunch with the poor guy."
"Fine," I huff, knowing I'm not going to win against her. It's too late anyway, he's here, and she has already told him I'm free. I grab my bag and make a beeline for reception where I find him on the phone. He smiles when he sees me, that sexy-as-fuck charismatic smile that makes women throw their panties. My heart races. There is something so strong between us, and these feelings are getting harder to fight every time I see him. I might have to make this a very short lunch, or I could end up doing something I’ll regret later, like throwing myself across the table at him and asking him to fuck me like I'm one of his groupies. Dirty, hard, and rough, just like at the reunion. Years of imagining what it would be like with rock star Heath weren't far wrong, and that one time hasn't satisfied my curiosity at all; it's only made me want him more.
Oh, fuck, no wonder I'm burning up, with dirty thoughts like that running through my head.Get yourself under control, Amelia.
"Yeah, I'll call you later," he tells the person on the other end before disconnecting the call and pocketing his phone. His eyes are on me the whole time, with a new intensity today.
I swallow the lump in my throat, stupidly hoping he feels the same. I'm so fucked. "Hi," I squeak, trying to fix my hair and wishing Summer had given me a second to fix my make-up. I'm all of a sudden self-conscious about everything. Is my dress too fitted or not snug enough? Did I shave my legs? Will he be able to tell? Why do I even care because this is probably about Connor and not me anyway?
He looks me over, and I'm sure he can tell I'm freaking the fuck out in my own head. "Hope I didn't catch you at a bad time. Your assistant said you're free for lunch?"
"Yeah, it's fine, she has everything covered here. I was just a bit surprised. I thought we were seeing you tonight for that movie?"
"I'm still coming. Pretty sure if I don't Ruby will come find me and drag me back to your place." He laughs. "But I wanted to see you without the kids around, if that's okay?"
Me alone? Something in the way he says it makes my heart skip a beat. Am I reading more into this than is really there? "Okay," I say, not so sure it really is but wanting to go along with it anyway.
He lets me choose where we go, so I take him to a cozy Italian bistro around the corner from Artemis headquarters. Knowing the owners of this place well, I know we can hide at the back and won't be disturbed. We find a booth and order a couple of pasta dishes to share and a glass of red wine. We have a nice lunch and make small talk about our work and our families. He says his mom can't wait to meet Connor, and I'm excited for her to meet him as well. I always had such a fondness for her. She was so warm and welcoming but with this no-shit attitude. I admired the way she took care of Heath and his sister alone.
Once I got over my uncomfortable attraction to him and decided to just be a normal human being, our catch-up is just like it used to be between us, and so it’s nice. I really have missed having him around. I’m glad I decided to come today. Maybe we can do this co-parenting thing without it getting messy. We can be just like best friends who share a kid. I'm sure I can ignore the crazy chemistry.
Heath presses his palms together under his chin, like he has something to say but doesn't know how. I take the moment for my eyes to linger on his face a little longer than they should. He really is a good-looking man. I like the piercing through his brow, and the way the ink runs up his arm; I get the urge to trace over the lines. "I've been talking to Della," he finally says.
And I blink back at him, coming out of my daydream with a slap back to reality at the mention of his manager’s name.
"She thinks I need to take a paternity test." He sighs.
I instantly feel like I'm going to puke up my spaghetti.
His worried eyes meet mine. "I'm not going to though, Millie. I trust you and believe everything you’ve told me. I know Connor is mine just by looking at him," he says, panicked.
"Okay, thank you," I say, a little unsure. I feel like there is a but coming or something I'm not going to like. "Why are you telling me what your manager said then?"
"Because I need to prepare you. Once this all gets out, you will be accused of all sorts of things. Whatever the press can say to get a story, they will. The media will blow up with a story like this, but you need to know I will protect you and the kids. I don't want you messed up in this world any more than you have to be."
I start to panic for a different reason. I knew there would be some shit that came with his name, but my kids don't deserve this, and there won't be anything he can do if someone wants to write a terrible story about me. "How do you do that?" I ask desperately, really hoping he has some answers. He was so good at looking out for me in high school, but this is the real world. He can't just go around punching every person that drags my name through the mud like he did back then.
"Della thinks we should go to the media ourselves. Our publicist has organized a press release, so we tell our story first. They can get the facts and then hopefully will leave us alone about it."
"But I don't want the kids messed up in a media circus at all," I say, frantic to keep some control over the situation.
"I won't let that happen. I'll do the interview, you can look over what I'm going to say, make sure you’re okay with it," he tries to assure me.
"I don't know about this, Heath. I don't want my dirty laundry aired for all to see."
"I'm sorry, Millie, it's going to happen whether we like it or not, it's just better if we have control over what's said. You need to trust me on this, okay?" I can see he is sorry, and I'm sure if he had a choice this wouldn't be the way things were done, but he doesn't. Neither of us do. When you're as big as he is, people feel like they own you.
I stare back at him, not sure what else to say. I know he's right, but I feel like all control is slipping away, and I hate it. It's like the small shred of dignity left after Declan took off is about to be taken from me as well. My eyes cloud over, and I try my best to blink away the tears. I don't want to cry in front of him again; it's getting embarrassing. But I don't think I can keep it together anymore. Not when he keeps being so nice and looking at me in that way. Like he wants to save me from all the big bad wolves out there who want to harm me or my kids.
Heath takes my hand over the table, and I flinch. "Millie, you have been doing all of this on your own for so long, and I know you're an amazing mom and you're capable of doing it forever by yourself, but let me help you. Let me be the person there for you and both of your kids. I know you have been let down in the past, but I would never do anything to hurt you."
"What are you saying?" I stutter out, confused. One minute we’re talking about reporters, the next he's implying he wants some sort of relationship with me?
"Let me in. Let your guard down so you can have the life you deserve."
The life I deserve? I think I know what he’s offering me, but it's too much too soon. Somehow, I feel like it would have been easier to have that dirty fuck I keep imagining. What he wants is something real, I can tell. "Heath, you have to understand, it's not that easy. I have my guard up for a very good reason—to protect my kids. They have already had their little hearts broken, and I can't watch them go through it again. You need to think long and hard about what you're promising us. We're a package deal, and we’re not the easiest to manage." I slip out of his hold and push my chair back, suddenly feeling like I'm overheating again, but this time it has nothing to do with chemistry. I need some space before I freak the fuck out right here in front of him.
"I've had all week to think about this and ten years regretting ever walking away from you in the first place. I know you feel it too. Don't be so stubborn, Millie. Let us give this a real go." His eyes plead with me to stay and hear him out, but I can't, not right now. I need to clear my head. It's all foggy with this crazy attraction and so many words. I can’t think properly, and this isn't just about me.
