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I watch the kids playing in the shallows. They’re kicking the water up and laughing at each other; it's adorable. Then I glance back at Heath. He's a good person, and they would be better off for having him in their lives, but I’m so messed up from what Declan did to me. I don’t know how to be in a relationship with someone else. I have been doing it all on my own, and it’s worked for me, because letting myself rely on a man again would mean opening myself up to trouble. I look at him, not knowing what else to say. This is not what I expected from him, and it’s too much for my fragile heart to handle.
He brushes my arm, his hand coming up to cup my face in that way he has, bringing my eyesight in line with his so he can really look at me, deep into my soul. It's just like the other night. I feel like I can't catch my breath. He’s so perfect. Ruggedly handsome in a way that brings my body to life every time I see him. And now with his hands on me and the heat in his eyes, I'm overwhelmed with emotion I don't even know how to process. I’m so attracted to him, and he’s offering me everything that should make me happy. If only I could just let go and let him in, but I'm not sure I know how.
He doesn't wait for me to catch up. Instead, he pulls me toward him with desperation, and when his lips brush mine, all my trepidation disappears. How could something that feels so right be wrong? His kiss deepens, his tongue parting my lips and invading my mouth. And I wrap my hand around the back of his neck, needing to be closer to him. I couldn't fight this even if I wanted to. I kiss him back with just as much intensity. I know I have to find a way to make this work; I want everything, probably even more than he does.
HEATH
She'sfinallylettingmein and giving me a little bit of herself. The way it feels to touch her soft skin, taste her luscious lips, smell her sweet scent, it’s like coming home. And I have been away for so long. I have never wanted another woman like I do her. She has me just as lovesick as when I was a teenager, just waiting for her to notice me the way I did her.
She pulls back from me, breathless, and I can't help but stare into her beautiful eyes. They’re a soft pretty blue, all bright with excitement, and when I'm so close with her like this, it's almost like we’re transported back in time, to when things were simpler. I have imagined this moment so many times since we said our goodbyes. It's hard to believe she's really here with me, but looking into her eyes, I know she is, and not only that but she sees me and wants this as much as I do.
"Are you my mom's lover?" Ruby's sweet little voice interrupts our moment.
"Ruby," Amelia says, startled, her eyes leaving mine so she can look at Ruby who is standing, hands on hips, her eyes darting between the two of us. Amelia pulls back from me, standing quickly and brushing the sand off her pants. Like nothing happened at all.
I can't help but feel a little disappointed that our moment is over. She's so difficult to persuade at the best of times, and getting her to give in to me, I was hoping she would have fallen just as deeply as I have. But she's already distancing herself from me. I hop up as well, trying to get some control back before she freaks out on me. Ruby looks between the two of us, a cheeky look on her face as she waits for one of us to say something. "I'm her boyfriend," I tell her, making sure Amelia knows I'm not going anywhere and what I just told her is happening. This is real, and she needs to get with the program.
Ruby smirks, like she likes the idea of it. "Is that why Mom's bags are in your room?" she asks.
This kid is going to kill me. I quickly glance back at Amelia. Her eyes are wide, shocked. But I didn't invite her and the kids to stay with me so she could spend the night in the spare room alone, with me in my bed thinking about her. Last weekend on her couch was torture enough. Tonight, I want the real thing.
"Ruby, go get your brother. It's cooling down now that the sun is disappearing. We should get back to the house," Millie stutters out, obviously rattled by the situation. And I know it's not all that normal for her to be kissing some dude in front of her kids, but I'm not just anyone, and they will come around quicker if we don't treat them like idiots. Her kids are smart, and not that I know much about being a parent, but I'm pretty sure if we tried to hide this from them it would only make it worse in the long run.
Ruby skips off to get her brother.
"You shouldn't have told her you're my boyfriend. Now she’ll get her hopes up. And why are my bags in your room?" She's pissed.
"What and have her go around saying I’m your lover instead?” I laugh, trying to lighten the mood. I have no idea where Ruby gets this shit from, but it's gold. "This is for the best. Let them know I'm not going anywhere because I'm not. You’re mine, Millie, and so are your kids. I already told you that," I tell her with utter determination in my voice.
"I probably should have sat them down and talked to them about all of this. Especially Connor, he's sensitive to change."
Maybe she’s right. I did act on instinct instead of thinking it through, but kids are adaptable, and he will come around, I'm sure. "I'm sorry, but I didn't want to wait. I have waited ten years to be with you, Millie. I'm not waiting any longer. I want this. All of it."
Ruby finds Connor, wrapping her arms around him in a hug as he tries to kick water in her direction. He must agree to come with her, though, because after she flicks water back at him, the two of them walk up the beach toward us, chatting away like they might even be friends. The cheeky smile on his face tells me she has already told him the news.
"He looks happy, Millie." I lace my hand through hers, pulling her in close, and she lets me. She knows this is right for all of us; she just needs to go with it. "Oh, and I put your bags in my room. You're staying with me," I whisper into her neck, just to make sure she knows exactly where she stands. This thing between us is happening.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
HEATH
Thefourofushave had a fun night. Amelia and I taught the kids how to play pool and foosball in my games room, then the kids made the most of the massive tub in the main bathroom and are now in the guest rooms they chose, hopefully asleep after such an action-packed day. Amelia is down at the other end of the hall checking that they’re asleep before she joins me in the master bedroom.
I hear her pad back down the hallway, stopping as she reaches the doorway. She leans against the door frame, looking toward me like she needs to say something but is too shy to get the words out.
"What's going on? Are the kids asleep?"
She nods. "Heath, things have changed since... I'm not the same." She looks a little uncomfortable. The confident girl I knew in high school has lost her edge, and I have to wonder why. She looks as good as the last time I saw her, better even. "This is going to sound silly to someone like you, but I think I should stay in one of the other rooms. I’m not…" I notice her eyes are now glassy as well.
I stand up, walking toward her. "Not what?" I interrupt, needing to know exactly what she is going on about. I don't know what she thinks I need her to be, but from where I'm standing, every part of her is perfect.
"I'm not like the other girls you would sleep with, on tour or here in LA. I'm a mom, you know." She shrugs like she's embarrassed by her body.
She's worried I won't think she’s good enough or something. I close the gap between us, brushing away the hair that has fallen over her face so I can see her pretty blue eyes again. “No, I don’t know what you mean. Not one girl I met on tour can even come close to comparing to you. Every part of you is perfection, and I'm dying to get my hands on you," I tell her, determination in my voice. I have been itching to get her alone all day. Playing with the kids has been fun, but this with her is everything, and I need it. I think she does as well. "Have you forgotten about that night at the reunion?"
"We had our clothes on then, and I had a little liquid courage after the tequila. This is more intimate." Her words wobble out.
I take her in my arms, kissing the top of her head and pulling her close into my chest. "Hey, it’s okay, we don't have to do anything. Just stay with me like when we were younger, I need you close by. We can watch a movie and just chill out together, no pressure," I tell her, needing her to know this is about more than just sex for me. Yeah, I want her, I want her like crazy, but most of all, I just want to be close to her, hold her in my arms, so I know she’s real, not a fantasy I made up in my head because I missed her so much.
