AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Cassie doesn't get it. I have just fucked up the only chance I had. The conversation was over in seconds, with him practically running the hell away from me. I don't blame him. It would have been ridiculous to hear, especially after me letting him fuck me up against a wall. But that doesn't make me any less disappointed we couldn't just talk about it and work out how we move forward from here together.
"Shit." Her eyes go wide. "Do you think she was blocking you because she thinks you're a gold digger after his money?"
"Do you think that's why he took off so quickly, is that what he thought when I told him?" I ask, mortified. The things he must think of me, it's too awful to consider.
"Probably not," she answers quickly, but I don't like the uncertainty in her voice. If my own sister is worried about it, then that's what he thinks for sure. "Drink your coffee; it'll make you feel better." She offers me a half-smile, like coffee can really help, when in reality, nothing can.
"I just don't know what to do. What do I tell Connor? I was stupidly hoping Heath might want to be involved in his life in some way, you know, give him a male role model as he gets into his teenage years."
"Don't tell him anything yet, wait and see how it all pans out. Give Heath time, Millie, this is huge. You would need time if it were you."
"You know I'm not good when things are out of my control, Cass. I'm feeling panicky today." And really stupid after what I did last night. It was the best sex of my life, but the guilt today makes it not worth the moment of pleasure.
"I know, but right now there is nothing you can do. You have told him, and now if he wants to be involved in his son's life, he will have to make it happen. Ball’s in his court."
I close my eyes, remembering how he was looking at me before I told him, with a burning lust that matched my own feelings for him. I had no idea what it would feel like to see him after all this time, but there was instant attraction. It was like no time at all had passed between us. It was hot. "Cass, when you first saw Brandon again after years apart, what was it like?"
She pulls a face. "I wanted to punch him in the nose." She cackles wickedly. I know what my little sister is like when she's pissed off, fiery as hell, so I'm surprised she didn't do it. "He came to help me on the side of the road when my car broke down, and I repaid the favor by kicking up dust in his face. He wasn't impressed." She laughs, remembering.
I can see it; my sister is a fierce redhead, and if you do the wrong thing by her, you'll know about it. "Did you know you were still in love with him?"
"I knew there was still something there, yeah. Most of it was anger, but under that, if I was completely honest, I guess I knew it was love. Did you feel something when you saw Heath?"
I give her a guilty look, not sure if I should tell her how much of an awful person her big sister really is. "That's the worst part. I did."
"Coming from experience, if you felt like that, it was there."
I bury my head in my hands. I can't deal with this right now. I have a massive week ahead. Designs need to be finished for my winter collection before it goes off to the factory. Ruby has early-morning rehearsal all week at school for her class production, and Connor has his usual assortment of afternoon activities. I'm already at my breaking point. "I don't think I can do this anymore, Cass."
She wraps an arm around my shoulders and gives me a squeeze. "You can, Sis. You have been doing all this for so long by yourself, you’re just tired. What can I do to help you?"
I lift my head so I can look at her. "I don't even know. When is it going to get easier?"
"One step at a time. But you have to tell the rest of the family you need some help; stop trying to do this all on your own. You're not going to win some award at the end for doing it solo, and your kids need you to be happy and not exhausted."
"I feel like I'm slowly failing at everything. My time is so split between all the things I need to do, so I can't do anything the way I really should be."
She gives me a sympathetic glance. Somehow, she has been the one person in my family I can really open up to. I don't know whether it's because of my confession to her about Brandon being the one who helped me financially when I needed it for the business or what. But since the day I told her I wasn't coping, she has been there for me whenever I need. "I can't even imagine what it must be like to run a fashion empire and single-handedly raise two little kiddos. Looking stunning while you do it. But you do. You just need a break. I'm here till tomorrow. Why don't you take the afternoon to yourself, go and get a massage or something, while I hang with the kids. I'm enjoying spending some time with them, and Brandon’s got some business he's sorting out with the Riveras."
"Really?" I ask her, feeling guilty as hell but knowing how desperate my voice sounds. I wouldn't normally take her up on the offer, especially after being out last night, but I'm about to fall apart, and I don't want to do it in front of my kids.
She smiles warmly. "Yes, I can meet you at Mom and Dad's for dinner. Go have some time for you." She gives me a little nudge, prompting me to stand up. I look out the window to see the kids bouncing on the trampoline. They won't miss me if I take a couple of hours to myself. Auntie Cassie is more fun than their exhausted mother anyway.
"Okay, I'll just go say goodbye to the kids." I open the sliding door and call out to them. "I'm ducking out for a bit. Auntie Cassie will hang with you, be good for her."
They give me a wave, not bothered at all, and I'm glad, it makes me feel less guilty. I close the door and find my bag on the kitchen island. "Thank you," I tell Cassie, making my way for the front door.
I open it with a startle when I see Heath standing in the space I was expecting to walk through. I gasp, placing a hand over my chest. "You scared me."
He looks at me, unsure. “I came to see if I could talk to you about what you said last night." He winces, like the thought is still causing him physical pain. "But I’ve been standing here for a while, not knowing what to do." He looks so uncomfortable, and I feel even worse that I have just turned his world upside down. He's one of the good guys; he always has been. Sweet, caring, charismatic Heath. I should have known he wouldn't just take off for good after what I told him.
"Cassie is looking after the kids. Did you want to go grab a hot drink and have that chat?" I offer, trying to ease the awkward tension swirling between us.
"I think that's a good idea," he agrees with a small smile. Maybe Cassie was right and we can work this all out. I really hope so, for Connor's sake. My kids have been through enough already.
HEATH
Wefindaseatat a café a short walk from Amelia’s house. My mind is racing with questions for her, but every time I open my mouth to ask, they get caught in my throat. All night I tossed and turned, trying to make sense of what she told me.You have a son.I’m a dad to a nearly ten-year-old that I've never met, and until yesterday, I didn’t even know existed. How do you process life-changing news like that? I can’t. The words keep swirling through my brain, but they’re not sinking in.
