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I didn’t answer, I just lunged for him, kissing him harder, opening my mouth to push my tongue into his and feeling him respond. His hands slid down my body, pulling me to him and I moaned into his mouth as I felt him hard against me, as if he’d spent the whole night in this condition. Like a cat in heat, I twisted against him, grinding my hips into his to get some respite from the burning need between my legs.
But in the next instant, to my horror, Devon pushed me away and swung around out of bed.
“No. No. I can’t… we can’t.”
“Why not?” It seemed a really fair question. At that moment, I was happy to be bedded one day and sold the next, I just wanted him, however ludicrous that was. Because I still believed… I still hoped, in my heart of hearts, that he would do the right thing.
“Because if I do this, then I won’t be able to do what I need to do. What Ihaveto do!” He seemed to be berating himself, insisting to himself that this was how it had to be.
“You don’t have to,” I started, but he interrupted when he looked back at me.
“I’m sorry, Selena. For everything I’ve done and everything I’m going to do.”
Right then, I was more upset about what he hadn’t done.
Chapter Thirteen
The Last Day
Whether by mistake, because of what happened last night, or simply because he no longer thought it necessary, Devon didn’t tether my horse to his as we rode on the next morning.
This would be our final full day’s riding before we reached Gaunt, and we certainly had a nice day for it. The sun beamed down from a clear sky with only the barest scudding of white clouds out to the east, but the temperature was nottoohot; a pleasant spring heat. The harsh winds of the wilderness had lowered to a sweet breeze that carried with it the scent of new flowers.
It was a day on which nothing bad could happen, and I couldn’t help hoping that might extend to tomorrow—the day we reached our final destination.
“I’ll race you to the ridge?” smiled Devon, riding alongside me.
“Challenge accepted.”
“On your marks…”
“Get set…”
“Go!”
We both kicked our steeds into action and the pounding of hoofbeats at a full gallop filled the air. I felt elated and childish, I found myself laughing. I felt free.
It didn’t matter who won the race. It was silly, and pointless and fun, and we both grinned at the end of it, then trotted back to where Uther brought up the rear, shaking his head. He didn’t know what was going on, but then, I didn’t either. Was this smiling man who raced with me and smiled whenever he caught me looking at him, really going to sell me to my enemies tomorrow?
It just didn’t seem possible, but with Devon anything was possible. And I was always aware that what I saw was the surface Devon, and that there was some dark trust beneath that which he couldn’t betray, something that forced him to do things that were against his nature whether he wanted to or not.
“What are those songs you sing?” I asked.
“Songs?”
“When I’m bathing, you sing. You sometimes sing to yourself when you’re riding, as well.”
“Do I? I didn’t even realize I was doing it.”
“I’m not complaining. I just wondered what they were.”
“Folk songs,” Devon answered in his typically evasive fashion. “I think it was my grandmother who taught them to me. She used to sing me to sleep with them. I suppose they remained in my head.”
I shook my head. “I don’t recognize them.”
A light shrug. “Can’t know them all.”
“When I lived in the mountains, there were women from all over the region, and there were many folk songs sung in the evenings—everyone contributing their own local ones. But I’ve never heard yours. I’ve never even heard the language you sing them in. Whereareyou from?”
