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I've spent a lot of time thinking about it, but I don't know where to start to work on fixing things between us. Dex and I used to be really close, but our relationship is tenuous at best now. We talk and hang out, but never get into anything about our relationship. Dexter and I are very good at ignoring the elephant in the room.
We never should have fucked. Everything got so messed up.
Now isn't the time to be wallowing in my feelings. I climb into bed and snuggle up to Dex's side. It might not be much, but I'll take the small amount of comfort that'll come from being held by him, even if emotionally he's miles away.
"Baby, you're killing me here," Dex says, tilting his head down to study my face. My hand digs into his side as I try to glance away. "You smell like straight-up stress."
"I'm all right," I whisper.
"Yeah?" Dex scoffs. "Sorry, sweetheart. I'm not buying it."
"What are we going to do?" I ask, shaking my head.
"No one's going to get to you. Don't give it another thought," Dex says, brushing his lips over my forehead.
I'm not worried about me. I'm really freaking afraid for Kitten.
I sigh. It's not that I'm uncomfortable with Dexter, but it's way easier when Izzy is around to buffer. Dexter glances at his phone.
"Issac said Walker and Riggs should be here soon." Dex makes a face. "The pretty one is all right, I guess. A bit square for my tastes, but that other dude? He's an asshole."
I chuckle. "Walker is definitely a beautiful man. Riggs isn't bad, though; I think he just comes off as abrasive until you get to know him."
Dex scoffs. "That guy hates my fucking guts."
Yikes.
I blanch. Riggs is very no-nonsense. He seems solid. Unlikely to change his mind or flip flop back and forth, kind of the opposite of Dexter.
Or maybe you're just not enough. That's why he hasn't changed. Stop judging Dexter and focus on your own faults.
"Anyway, you should rest. I've missed you, Baby," Dex says, staring down at me. "I've got you." His eyes are so damn blue. When he's being sincere it's hard to guard my heart against him.
I nod, my face brushing over his chest.
"My dad dipped out as soon as my mom found out she was pregnant," Dexter says, staring at the wall. "No matter what, you've got Issac, but I want you to know that I'm here for you, too."
My breath catches. Squeezing my eyes closed doesn't stop the tears from coming. Hot breath fans out over Dex's chest as I let out a ragged breath. I refuse to be the woman who cries over everything. Pregnancy can suck my nonexistent dick. If I could, I'd grow one right now just so pregnancy could suck it.
"Don't be scared," he says, kissing my temple. "I know that letter was fucked-up, but we won't let anything happen to you or the baby."
"Thank you," I murmur. I know he's trying. I'm pretty sure he's just fucking oblivious. "Dex, I care about you. This distance between us isn't what I wanted. Not at fucking all."
"Yeah." He nods, but he won't meet my eyes as I look up at him.
Dexter has always been skinny, but he's even more bony than the last time we laid like this. I'm the equivalent of a giant beached whale and I'm so fucking worried about him. When I first met Dex and Issac, Dexter partied a lot. He has settled down considerably over the years, but it makes me absolutely hate ithere. He's spiraling, and I have no idea how to get through to him.
"Have you ever heard of a self-fulfilling prophecy? I think that's what we are," I say.
Dexter stares down at me, a look of shock on his face. There's commotion in the living room area of the hotel suite.
Issac pops his head in the door. "The security guys just showed up," he says, studying us with a strange look on his face.
"She needs rest," Dexter says.
"Where is she?" Riggs asks, barreling into the room.
"Right there," Issac says, nodding over to me and Dex.
