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I turned my head to look at him with a challenge. “That’s a terrible reason to get engaged.”
“I know that now,” he said. “I just wanted to give something back, and I certainly couldn’t cut my hours at work. That was probably what she really wanted.”
We sat in silence again until we both drifted off in the warm, sunny living room, and woke again an hour later.
“So how did they go? Your parents I mean,” Gabe asked once we’d gotten some snacks to eat, still totally nude.
“Car crash,” I said slowly. “It’s the thing that made me want to be an ER nurse. People told me and Dean that they didn’t feel anything, but they were both hooked up to machines for days before they died. I felt so helpless and didn’t ever want to feel that again.”
Gabe gave me a horrified and concerned look, then pulled me into a hug, wrapping his fingers into my hair. It was so comforting and raw. I suddenly remembered that if the snow had stopped and the sun was out, Dean and Lexi would be back soon, and this would all have to end.
How did I go from hating this man’s guts to wanting him to hold me like this forever? Once again, it was like Gabe could sense what I was thinking.
“I’m really gonna miss this when I go back to New York,” he said, hugging me even tighter. “I’m sure you’ll be glad to be rid of me.”
“No,” I said. “I won’t.”
I looked up into his eyes and I felt like my heart was about to explode. It wasn’t butterflies or fireworks, it was like a golden thread between us tightened and we were exactly where we were supposed to be with the person we were supposed to be with.
He leaned in and kissed me, cradling my head with his fingertips while using his thumb to caress my face. I couldn’t help but notice that every time he kissed me it felt just as good. In fact, there wasn’t a single time he put his hands on me that it didn’t feel good, no matter what we were doing.
He leaned backward and I fell onto his chest. I nuzzled my face against it, soaking in the pepperminty smell that had come from the bath and relishing in the sound of his heartbeat.
“I wish I’d had a nurse like you when my parents got hospitalized,” he said suddenly. “I never really felt like their nurses cared since they were old.”
“What happened to them?” I asked. “If you wanna tell me, of course.”
“Influenza,” he said, staring up at the ceiling. “The fucking flu. Because we grew up poor, my parents fell into the common traps of vice and terrible food and by the time I had made enough money to get them out of that lifestyle, they were both in terrible health. All it took was one bad flu season and they were both gone. One week apart.”
I could really empathize with losing your parents all at once. It was harrowing and gave you an existential vertigo that no one should ever have to experience.
“I think losing my parents like that is the reason I have never been in love,” I blurted out. My hand went to my mouth as if I could stop it but it was too late.
Gabe sat up a little and I did the same, though he stared at me while I stared at the floor in embarrassment.
“You’ve never been in love?” he asked. “Not even silly, high school, puppy dog love?”
I shook my head and sat all the way up, pulling a blanket over me, feeling exposed. “I didn’t even try to date in high school, I was too busy ensuring I got into college. By the time college rolled around, I lost Mom and Dad. And knowing someone could be taken from you like that made me hesitant to let other people into my life in a close capacity.”
Gabe stroked my hair and crooked a finger under my chin to pull my eyes up to his. “There’s nothing to be ashamed of in that, Jenna,” he said. “Being in love is one of the most frightening things someone can go through, but it’s also one of the most rewarding.”
I laughed sardonically. “How? All the couples I ever see are constantly fighting. The women are unhappy because the men are flaky and disinterested, and the men bored because the girl they married is finally comfortable expressing her needs. No offense, Gabe, but it seems a little hard to take that kind of advice from someone who drove away their fiancée by working too much.”
I thought maybe this statement would make him upset, but he just shook his head and chuckled. “Fair. I guess it’s something you will have to see for yourself.” Gabe stood and gave me a very enticing view, looking down at me and wiggling his eyebrows playfully. “I think I’m ready to wear clothes again. You?”
I nodded and started to get to my feet, and Gabe held up a hand to still me. “Stay here where it’s warm. I’ll get them.”
“You sure?” I asked. “You seem to be making an awful lot of uncomfortable cold trips to fetch me clothes.”
He nodded, making a confident face. “Please. Back home I pay shitloads for this kind of cryotherapy. I’m looking at this like free sessions.”
I giggled and waved him on, and he hurried away to the bedrooms. When he came back, a stack of warm clothes in his arms, he looked anxious and anticipatory.
“What’s wrong?” I asked, a lump suddenly appearing in my throat.
“I–uh…” He put a hand through his hair and looked around. “I get nervous giving gifts.”
“Huh?” I asked, taking the clothes and beginning to get dressed.
