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She had such an amazing personality. I wished I had been that spunky when I was her age. Maybe I wouldn’t have gotten bullied as much.
“You have ten minutes, and then you need to be in the kitchen for breakfast. Do you want an apple or an orange in your lunch?”
“Both,” she said. God this was becoming so typical Leann. You gave her choice A and choice B, and she would always try to make a choice C.
“Fine,” I said, figuring extra fruit wouldn’t hurt. “If you really think you will eat both.”
Leann nodded. “I love fruit,” she said.
“Me too,” I replied, leaving her room to get the other two kids up.
The other two weremucheasier to rouse, and each of them choseonefruit for their lunch. Ben did fall back asleep for a few minutes, but got up when I called him for breakfast.
Their ride was here exactly on time, and I walked them down to the lodge entrance to say goodbye. Once they were gone, I knew I had work to do on myself. And it was gonna be so much more complicated than apples or oranges.
***
The snow was falling lightly as I waited for Max on the bunny slopes, and a flake fell right on my nose. I crossed my eyes to watch it melt and remembered how much I used to love the way snow felt. Now it reminded me of suffocating.
I dug my hands into the thick liquid powder beneath me, wanting that love to come back so badly that it physically hurt. But after a few seconds of cold moisture, I felt my heart begin to pound. Then my breathing seemed to catch in my chest, and I was forced to gasp for air.
“Hey,” Max said, coming up from behind me, sliding across the snow and pulling me into his arms. “Baby. Hey. What’s wrong?”
I started crying, my heart feeling like it was gonna explode with fear and worry and sadness. “I want to ski again,” I cried. “I want to love the snow and feel the rush of beating a record. But I can’t. And I never will again.”
Max held me tightly in a way that really did feel reassuring. “I’m here for you,” he said. “I would never let you go through this alone, Hales.”
I felt my pulse slow, and the tightness in my throat released, and I knew Dr. Harzel was right. If I was ever gonna get better, I was gonna have to take that first step.
“Max?” I said, looking up at him. I could still feel the wetness on my cheeks from my tears. Max leaned in to wipe them before they could freeze.
“Hmm?” he asked.
“Can you help me get up? Maybe we can go down this slope together, hand in hand?”
Max’s eyes got wide, and he nodded excitedly. “I’ll even keep my skis off so I can walk beside you.”
I gave him a weak smile, and he lifted me from the ground onto my feet.
I began to slide a little immediately, and I clutched his arm for dear life. As if any bit of movement was gonna land me under six feet of snow again. But he walked forward with me, and pretty soon, the feeling of the snow beneath my skis felt as natural as my own face in the mirror.
“Max,” I whimpered excitedly, “I’m doing it.” I was ignoring the ache in my knee that would only be resolved with more physical training and rebuilding the muscles.
“Yeah, you are,” Max said with an odd smile. “That’s my girl.”
I stopped my skis faster than I was ready to, causing me to wobble a little. “What’s that look?” I asked.
Max shook his head, his expression changing at once. “What look?”
I raised my eyebrow at the suspicious behavior but decided to let it go in favor of skiing more, and by the time we were done, I was going down the kid slopes all by myself. God it was a rush. How had I ever wanted to stay away from this?
“I’m really proud of you,” Max said as we walked back to the lodge and up to the penthouse. “You overcame your fear and did it in a spectacular way.”
I unlocked the door to the penthouse and brought him inside. James hadn’t strictly said I wasn’t allowed to have any guests. Why would he care? The kids were still in school anyway.
“Take your boots off,” I said, directing him to the door mat. “I don’t want to have to mop up snow.”
Max laughed and did as he was told, then followed me to the living room, where we cuddled up on the sofa and watched some historic ski runs. It was a silly nerdy hobby, but we loved to critique them like we were the commentators. No one ever got a perfect score.
