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Chapter Thirty-Four
James
Iwaited patiently in my room, pacing the floor and trying to plan out what I was going to say if I didn't get the answer I wanted to hear.
I needed to support her most of all. No matter what I felt in the moment, Haley was bound to feel thirty times worse.
Haley had texted me about an hour ago to tell me she was going to be home a little later than expected because she scheduled a last-minute appointment with her therapist. I could read between the lines enough to make the connection. She was going to be making her choice.
Suddenly, I heard the front door open and close, and my pulse jumped to about four hundred beats per minute.
“Hello?” Haley called out, sounding nervous.
“I’m in the bedroom,” I said, sitting down and pretending that’s where I’d been the whole time. I grabbed a book for extra effect just as she walked into the room.
I could instantly tell Haley had been crying when she entered and I felt like I couldn't breathe.
“Good book?” Haley asked, gesturing to the last-minute prop.
“Yeah,” I said. “It’s a great read.”
“Even upside down?” she replied.
I looked down to see that I was holding it the wrong direction and rolled my eyes, tossing it aside. “How was the therapy?” I asked.
“Amazing as always,” she replied. “I do not pay her nearly enough.”
I nodded with a smile that I didn’t quite feel and reached for her hand. “I’m glad you feel like you’re getting what you need.”
There was a moment of quiet in which I pulled Haley into my lap before she said, “Did you really mean what you said about being together?”
“Of course I did,” I said without hesitation. “You are everything I need. And I think I have the ability to be pretty good for you, too. Some obvious exceptions aside.”
She nodded and buried her face into my chest, then whispered into my ear, “I want to have this baby with you. You’re a really good dad, even if you were a jackass to start with.”.”
I could feel emotion catching in my throat. I was going to be a dad again.
“I was,” I said, my voice cracking. “You’re a hundred percent right, and I’m so damn sorry.”
Haley put her fingers to my lips. “But I believe you when you say you love me. Because I love you, too. And there is no way something feels this strong and right if it’s not shared by both people.”
I couldn’t help myself. I wrapped her entire body in mine and dipped her back to kiss her deeply. Haley was mine, for better or worse, and our future was opening up before me like a gate that had been sealed shut until now.
My hands made their way beneath her shirt and moved across her body until they reached the place where my baby was.
Mine.
I shifted so my body was hovering over her and looked into her shining sapphire eyes that were begging me not to fuck this up again. She needed me, but even more so, I needed her. She saved me from a prison of my own making and showed me that I could change.
Her dreams were my dreams, her failures mine to share. There was not a single piece of me that didn’t have Haley’s name written all over it.
None more than my heart.
I kissed her again, and then a third time. Every moment led me to wanting a little more.
Her body pressed against me, wanting me just as badly as I wanted her.
And just like that our hands and lips and skin were desperate to make as much contact as possible. We tore at each other’s clothes and tossed them wherever they might land, not caring about anything besides wanting to pick up where we’d gone all wrong.
