AllFreeNovel
Share Us
The only person I ever had taking care of me was me.
“You were with your mother,” he says. “I thought you were okay. Looking back, I should have done something different, but it honestly didn’t even occur to me back then.”
“You married my mother. Surely, you should have felt some responsibility toward me.”
“Yes, legally I was your stepfather—”
“You stillaremy stepfather,” I remind him.
He glances at the ground as though that reminder embarrasses him. “Okay, but I was never a father to you. I was never anything to you. I was the person who occasionally came to the trailer and got wasted with your mother. That was all. I wasn’t going to come back into your life and whisk you away. You barely knew who I was.”
All I’m hearing coming from his mouth are excuses.
I shake my head. “You must have known that we’d never amount to much. When Darius started getting successful and you had all this money, did you never even think of coming and bailing my mom out of whatever shit heap she was living in?”
He holds my gaze. “What would have happened if I’d given your mother a whole heap of money? What do you think she would have done with it? You think she’d have found you somewhere nice to live and saved for your college fund? No, she’d have put it up her nose, or injected it into a vein, or drunk the whole damned lot. You know I’m telling the truth.”
The worst part is that he’s completely right. That’s exactly what she would have done.
I speak honestly. “It hurts to know that I’ve struggled all my life when you could have made a decision to change it.”
He stares at me, lines forming between his dark brows, his blue eyes, so much darker than mine, narrowing a fraction.
“Do you think this is how we’ve been living for the past fourteen years?” he says. “Do you think I walked away from that trailer, straight into this life? You can’t be farther from the truth, Laney. I was a fucking mess when I walked away from both of you. I was addicted to drugs and alcohol. I was violent and full of rage. I had to leave because I knew I’d end up doing something terrible, and I didn’t want that for either of you. Then the boys’ mother contacted me to say she was terminally ill and didn’t have anyone to take care of them. I hadn’t seen Cade since hewas tiny, and I’d never even met Darius. She threw me out when she was pregnant because of my shitty behavior. I knew she must have been desperate to turn to me. Then she died, and all of a sudden, I was a single father to two grieving children. They were six and eight, and suddenly forced to live with a father they couldn’t even remember while having just lost the only parent they’d ever known.”
I wanted to say ‘sounds familiar,’ but I kept my thoughts to myself for once. I wasn’t a young child anymore, completely dependent on someone else for her survival. And I hope the two boys’ mother had been a hell of a lot better than mine had.
“We struggled, Laney,” he continues. “I can’t tell you how much we struggled. I lost count of the number of times I almost went back to using. I had no idea what I was doing, and both Darius and Cade were angry and grieving. Then Darius got sick, and things got even worse. I didn’t think we were going to make it, to be honest, but I didn’t want the boys to end up in foster care. Darius lost his sight, and I had no idea how to help him.”
He draws a breath, and I can tell how hard this is for him to speak about. I reach out and place my hand on his forearm. I realize how I’ve only thought about things from my side. I never gave a single thought to the possibility that he was struggling during those years as well.
Reed continues. “It was only when Darius became a teenager, and out of sheer luck, picked up a violin, that we discovered he had such a talent for the instrument. A genius for it, in fact.”
“How did he accidentally pick up a violin?” I’m curious. I’ve wanted to ask Darius all these questions myself but haven’t been able to build up the courage.
“He had an aid back then who helped him get around, and they went into a music shop with some buddies ‘cause they were looking for an electric guitar, and there happened to be a violin on display. Of course, it wasn’t as though he could see theinstrument, but he said he was drawn to it. He put his hands on it, traced the shape and the strings, and he picked it up, together with the bow, and played it then and there. No lessons, nothing. It was like magic.
“The old shop owner watched it happen, and he was so taken aback by Darius’s playing that he insisted on funding lessons. I said we had no money for anything like that, but he wouldn’t hear of it. He said we could pay him back when Darius was playing to huge audiences in Vienna. Sadly, he died before we could do that, but I know Dax brought him a lot of joy while he’d been alive.”
“He just picked up a violin and played?” I said.
“That’s right. Of course, he’s always loved music, especially after losing his sight, but never classical. I think it was as much a shock to him as it was to us, but he’s never looked back.” Reed gives a small smile. “Good thing for us. I can’t imagine what any of our lives would be like if it weren’t for Darius’s talent.”
I’m still trying to figure out how Darius has madeallof them wealthy. “But surely it’s Darius’s money? I mean, he’s a grown man. It’s not like he has to share.”
“I manage him, which means I take my cut, and Cade is head of his security. He couldn’t do it without either of us, and he knows it, which is why he pays well.”
I wonder if Darius ever wants to be rid of his father and brother. Doesn’t he ever want to branch out on his own? Hire his own people? Or does he believe it’s better to keep his family close? Maybe he thinks they’re the only ones he can fully trust? I can’t imagine how it must be for Darius, traveling from city to city, always in unfamiliar places, surrounded by strangers. It would be difficult enough to live that way as a seeing person, but being blind must throw up a whole heap of different challenges.
Maybe that’s why he keeps his family around.
I offer Reed a smile. “I’m sorry I was such a bitch to you.”
He glances at the ground. “No, you weren’t. Certainly no more than I deserve. I should have thought about you, especially after Darius’s career took off. I’m sorry I didn’t.”
I step into him, and surprise myself by wrapping my arms around his neck. His hands slip around my waist, holding me close. I find myself with my cheek against his chest, and he lowers his face and presses his lips to the crown of my head.
I’m not sure how long we stay that way, but, when we part, there’s a new kind of understanding between us.
