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In a lull between customers, I double forward, hands on my knees, and try tobreathethrough the panic. Ford will have an explanation. He has to.
The man I know wouldn’t hurtanyone… I think of him looking up flowers and being wary of the water and so patient helping the sixteeners with their soapbox cars.
And … wait. If he’d been to prison for something to do with kids, there’s no way he’d be allowed to work with them now. Right?Right? It’s possible the parents don’t know, but I hold on to the hope that Claude was exaggerating.
I’m just not sure what the hell to do about it now.
Ford let me talk through my past when I was ready, so it’s not like I can go to him and demand the story. Especially when, according to Steve, he doesn’t talk about it with anyone.
I mean, Art’s the biggest information source in town, and heknowsthere’s something going on with me and Ford. If he’d had even the faintest whiff of Ford being bad news, he never would have encouraged me.
Fuck it. I need to know.
I set my “Back in 5” sign out and head into the bar side of the brewery. It’s quieter in here, only two people behind the bar and one person in a booth watching whatever sport replay is on. I ignore them all and take the stairs behind the bar to Art’s office two at a time.
But when I get there, it’s locked. I knock, then lean close to the door to see if I can hear anything, but it’s quiet. He’s not here.
Art isalwayshere.
I scrub my hands over my face and pace back out to the mezzanine, feet turning toward the large mullioned windows.
The sky stretches over Kilborough, periwinkle blue and cheerful, despite how cold it’s been this morning. It’s one of those crisp fall days that people hang on to and take advantage of, knowing winter will be here soon. My breathing evens out, the panic taking root in my chest ebbing with each exhale.
Ford completely supported me no matter what, didn’t even need to think about it. What I did was fucked-up—it ruined two people’s lives, even though she played a part too. What Ford did … unless it’s something completely evil, I’m going to support him too.
And knowing Ford the way I do, I can’t believe itcouldbe something evil.
I let myself get lost in the vastness of the sky, letting the reminder of my own insignificance set in. Even the things that seem too big for me to handle are minuscule when I put them into perspective.
“What are you doing up here?”
I turn at Art’s familiar voice and offer him a smile. “Had a question for you.”
“Oh, yeah? Hit me.”
It’s on the tip of my tongue to ask, but I change my mind. “You know what … it’s not important.”
“Really?”
“Really.”
I tell him I’ll see him later, and when I get back to my booth, the sign is gone, and Ford is helping out some customers. As I approach, I watch him. He’s so friendly, so welcoming. He’s talking about my flowers the same way he’d talk about his cars, and it makes my chest ache at how amazing he is.
Someone with a heart that big doesn’t belong behind bars.
Then again, he wouldn’t be the first guy to be locked up who didn’t deserve it.
I wait for him to ring them up and say bye before I step into the booth behind him. “You’re two minutes early.”
“I couldn’t stay away.” His grin is so large when he turns to me that despite all my confusion, I return it.
Do I want to know the truth? Yes.
But do I trust Ford, no matter his past? He hasn’t ever given me a reason not to.
I step closer, place my hand on his chest, just as Ford’s gaze slides off to the side.
His face falls as he staggers back a step.
