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“Bianca?” I call out as I walk through the house, first checking the bathroom, then the living room and kitchen, before making it all the way to the other end of the house, finding it empty. I’m not really sure why I’m calling for her and doing a thorough search. As soon as I woke up and she wasn’t tucked into my side I knew she was gone. Her absence in my space had an almost physical feeling to it.
I peek out the side window and don’t see a car in her driveway. Still, I quickly slide on some sweatpants and a tee shirt and head over to her place, banging on the door. Again, I’m not surprised by her lack of answer.
I could tell there was something wrong with her last night, I just couldn’t place what it was. I let myself believe her brush offs about it being an emotional day was the reason for her distance,but deep down I knew there was more going on. There has to be or else she wouldn’t have snuck out of my bed like a thief in the night. I can’t decide if I’m angry with her for leaving without a word or if I’m just plain worried about her and how she’s handling the events of yesterday. I’m sure it’s a bit of both.
I check my watch and see that I need to head out and pick up Oliver. After yesterday’s insanity I’m planning on spending the day with him, especially since I haven’t seen him much this past week, Bianca doing a runner on me isn’t going to change that. Still, it doesn’t stop me from scooping up my phone and firing off a text.
Me: Why did you leave this morning? Is everything okay?
I finish getting ready for the day and check my phone, noting that my message has been read but that there’s no response. Now I’m legitimately getting annoyed. She can’t even take a moment to text me and let me know she’s alright?
Me: I’m planning on spending the day with Oliver. I know he’d love to see you. If you want to meet up with us let me know.
I know I’m bringing out the big guns by telling her that Oliver wants to see her but it’s not like it isn’t true. He would be thrilled to spend the day with her.
If I thought that would push her to respond I was sorely mistaken when the message almost immediately shows read, but again, I get no response. I let out a sigh and grab my car keys. Perhaps she just needs some time and distance. I can’t imagine how she’s feeling today, I just wish she would let me in so maybe we could talk it out. I’m sure I’ll hear from her later in the day.
Except that I don’t. I send her multiple texts throughout the day, some just checking in, some letting her know what Oliver and I are doing and I get nothing but radio silence from her. Atthis point I’m past annoyance and am just confused. Why won’t she speak to me? It’s obvious she’s getting my messages.
When Oliver and I get home I make a quick stop at her house again but the place is completely dark and there’s no answer when I bang on the door. By the next morning I still haven’t heard from her and I’m getting the distinct feeling that I’m getting blown off. If she thinks that after everything we’ve been through she can get rid of me by just ignoring me, she’s got another thing coming.
Then the thought seeps into my head that maybe I’ve been wrong about everything. Maybe she doesn’t feel about me the way I feel about her. I told her I loved her the last night but she was already asleep and didn’t respond. I’d like to think that if she was awake she would have repeated those words back to me but maybe I’ve just been kidding myself. Is it possible that I’ve been nothing more than a place filler for her?
No, that’s not possible. After our heart to heart about her not wanting or being able to have children she seemed just as enthusiastic about being in a relationship as I was. There was no way I read that wrong. Something must have happened between then and now. I know I broke up with her but I explained how that was to keep her safe. She said she understood and I think the fact that she was actually kidnapped could only strengthen the truth of my words.
The fact of the matter is that I just need to get her to speak to me. That’s the only way I’m going to be able to figure out what’s really going on between us.
The next day dawns with still no word from Bianca and as I drop Oliver off at school I’m more determined than ever to get her to speak to me. Since I’m currently on paid leave because of what happened with Daniel Howard, I head home and spend the rest of the morning cleaning the house from top to bottom whilekeeping one eye glued to the kitchen window that faces Bianca’s house.
At around eleven a.m. I see her car pull into the driveway and then she hurries into the house without even sparing a glance in this direction. I immediately leave the dishes I’ve been washing in the sink, change my shirt, and head over to her.
My heart is pounding at an unreasonable rate as I approach her door. I tell myself there’s no reason for me to be so nervous but my body doesn’t seem to believe me. I’m on edge and feel like I’m about to go into battle which can’t be a good sign.
Knocking on the door doesn’t bring any response. I can’t even hear any movement from inside. In fact, if I didn’t see her walk inside not five minutes ago, I would assume she was still out.
I pound on the door again, harder this time. “Bianca, open the door. I saw you come home. I’m not leaving until we talk.”
The door quickly opens like she’s been standing right behind it the entire time and I pause just a moment to take her all in. She’s wearing a pair of sleep shorts and a tank top that is barely containing her breasts which immediately gets me half hard. I tell my body to behave itself but my dick has a mind of its own when it comes to Bianca. Her hair is piled high on the top of her head in a messy bun with tendrils falling all around her face that my fingers itch to push back. Surprisingly, her face appears to be make-up free. It’s not often I see Bianca without makeup, usually it’s just before she goes to sleep or after she gets out of the shower. She always looks gorgeous to me, whether she’s made up or not, but there’s something about her fresh faced that makes her appear more vulnerable.
“What’s up, Carson?” I’m so surprised by her nonchalant attitude and the slight tone of impatience in her voice that it takes me a second to answer.
“What’s up? What do you mean what’s up? Where have you been, Bianca? I know you’ve been getting my messages.”
She glances behind her, then over my shoulder. I get the feeling she’s trying to look anywhere but into my eyes. “I’m sorry, I’ve been busy.”
“You’ve been busy.” I say, deadpanned. “You haven’t been home. Where have you been?”
“I’ve been staying at Dad’s. You know, helping him take care of Violet. I’m actually just home to grab some stuff then I’m going to head back over there.” Well, at least that makes sense. It makes me feel slightly better knowing why she hasn’t been home but it still doesn’t explain why she snuck out of my bed and why she’s been ignoring my texts.
“Okay. Well, do you want to come over for dinner tonight?” She shifts her weight from one foot to the other in a nervous gesture I’m not used to seeing from her.
“I don’t think that’s such a good idea.”
My brow furrows as I watch her closely. “Well, what would be a good idea?”
Finally, her eyes pull up to meet mine. Unfortunately, there’s no warmth in them at all. They look flat and cold and it sends chills down my spine. “I don’t think we should see each other anymore, Carson. It was fun while it lasted but I think you had the right idea when you ended things a week ago.”
I have to make a significant effort to not bend over because it feels suspiciously like I’ve just taken a baseball bat to the stomach. “What the fuck are you talking about, Bianca? I told you why I did that. I was only trying to protect you. I thought you understood that.”
