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She takes a deep breath but keeps her eyes steadily locked with mine. “I do understand why you did it. Believe me, I appreciate how you looked out for me. But that doesn’t mean you were wrong to do it.”
“What are you talking about?”
“God, do I have to spell this out for you?” Her voice has risen an octave and I do my best not to flinch. “You were right, you deserve the choice of whether you want to have a family or not. I’m not the right girl for you. I’m sure you’ll find someone new in no time. But you and me? We’re over.”
It’s this exact moment I realize how badly I fucked up. When I broke up with her I let her believe it was because of her medical issues because it was easy. Convenient. I never should have done that. I should have made up something else. Hell, I should have told her the truth. I made the monumental mistake of letting her greatest fear come true. I was rejecting her because she couldn’t have children. I’m the one that planted that seed of doubt in her mind and all it’s done is grown unchecked for the past week.
She takes a step back and tries to close the door on me but I put my hand out to stop it. “Bianca, we already spoke about this. I don’t need kids. I have Oliver. All I need is you, I thought you understood that.”
“Look Carson, you’re a good guy. I even think that you honestly believe that. But one day you’ll change your mind. You’ll start to resent me for keeping you from having a full life. I’m not going to be the person that keeps that from you.”
“If I have you, I’ll have a full life. If I don’t have you, I’ll have nothing. You have to believe me when I tell you that I don’t give a flying fuck about having children. I just want you. What can I do to make you believe me?”
“There’s nothing you can do Carson, it’s already over. Please, I just want you to go.”
“But I love you, Bianca, and I know that you love me too. I love you more than anything.”
If I expected my declaration to soften her, to loosen her resolve I couldn’t have been more wrong. I see her face hardeninto a mask of resolve right in front of me. “You’ll get over it,” she says in a voice as cold as ice.
I’m so taken aback by her reaction to my declaration of love that I let my hand fall away from the door and she takes the moment to close it firmly in my face. I don’t know how long I stand there on her porch, my eyes staring blankly at her door but I know a considerable amount of time has passed when the alarm on my phone goes off telling me it’s time to leave so I can pick Oliver up from school.
I don’t want to leave. I want to find something I can say, something I can do, that will make her believe me, but I’m coming up blank. Instead, I concentrate on turning and putting one foot in front of the other so that I can go pick up my son.
***
It’s been a week since I’ve seen Bianca, but it’s not for a lack of trying on my part. I’ve been keeping a close eye on her place but it doesn’t look like she’s been home since my last confrontation with her. When she mentioned that she was going to stay at her father’s and help with Violet I didn’t imagine it would be for this long.
Of course, I considered that she was trying to avoid me but I was hopeful that it wasn’t the case. However, it was made apparent that avoiding me was exactly what she was doing when three days ago Hollie showed up to her place and came back out with her easel, some canvases, and other miscellaneous art supplies.
I haven’t given up though. I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to. I text her every day. Several times a day. They run from the mundaneGood Morningtext to bad jokes I’ve heard around the precinct sprinkled around pleas for her to listen to me andgive me another chance. Each and every text is met with a stony silence.
I may have abused my police access the tiniest bit by pulling her father’s address from the system. I figured since it’s concerning my future wife and father-in-law it can’t be all that bad.
Rafe didn’t agree with that reasoning either.
I don’t know much about getting the love of your life to come back to you, I’ve never been in love before. Hell, I’ve never been in a serious relationship before. Rafe told me all women love flowers so I started with those but I didn’t know what kind of flowers where her favorite. So I’ve been sending a different bouquet to her father’s house every single day. I still haven’t heard a word from her but at least the flowers haven’t been dumped on my porch in a twisted mess of petals and stems. That’s giving me a bit of hope.
I know, I know. Just let me grasp at straws here.
Now that it’s been a full week and I’m truly at a loss for what to do I’ve decided to go to one of the only people who might be able to help me. Her father. Believe me, he wasn’t my first choice. I would have approached either Hollie or Violet before going to them but since it doesn’t look like either live next door anymore, I think Dante Moreno might be my only hope.
When I knock on his door I’m half hoping, half dreading that Bianca will be here. Of course I want to see her again, I’m like a man dying of thirst and she’s the only source of water within a hundred miles. But I know that if she’s here, I’ll get thrown out on my ass immediately. I’m hoping the fact that it’s the middle of the day will work in my favor and that she’ll be at the gallery.
Less than a minute after I ring the doorbell the door opens and Violet is standing in front of me. Well, below me. I’ve only met her in person that one time and I obviously was a little too preoccupied to notice that she’s over a foot shorter than I am.Her face is still covered in bruises but they’ve faded from red and blue to those deep yellow and brown tones. There’s still a bandage on her hand but I’m happy to see that she’s out of the hospital and looking like she’s recovering.
“Violet, right?” I ask, not sure she even knows who I am. The only time I’ve ever been in the same room as her, she was unconscious.
“Carson Turner?” Her eyes go wide and before I realize what’s happening she’s thrown herself at me, wrapping her arms around my waist. “I’ve never gotten the chance to thank you for what you did for me. Thank you so much. I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for you.”
She pulls herself away from me and blesses me with a smile. I’m not going to lie, I’m a little thrown off by the warm welcome. Not that I’m not thrilled she’s happy to see me, I was just expecting a stern and angry Dante answering the door.
“Of course, I was just doing my job.” Giving the standard answer I always provide when somebody thanks me lets me feel like I’m getting my feet back underneath me, but Violet just rolls her eyes.
“Yeah, well,just doing your jobsaved my life.”
I open my mouth to respond when I hear a deep voice from behind her. “Who’s at the door, baby?”
She turns towards Dante who’s just joined us. “It’s Carson.” She looks back over at me and seems to suddenly realize I’m still standing outside on the porch. “Oh gosh, I’m so sorry. Please come in, come in.” Before stepping inside I shoot a brief glance up at Dante since it is in fact his house but he’s already walking towards a large open living room when Violet grabs my wrist and drags me inside.
