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"Did you?"
"I mean...yeah, but what am I supposed to be looking for?"
"A credit notification," his voice was curt and straight. No emotion whatsoever. "I sent in the remaining hundred and fifty grand I promised you."
I should have been happy... overjoyed at the news, but even the numb feeling of happiness I felt when I received the first sum from him didn't come. I just had to tell him.
"Alessandro, there's something I have to tell..."
"You need to leave Sienna."
“What?”
I didn't realize I said that aloud until he repeated himself. "You heard me. You need to leave. Remember our deal? Thirty days."
Now, the numbness came. It wasn't like the one of happiness like I felt on the day he gave me money; this one was of pain. I still rested on him, and he still let me, but I felt like I was falling deeper into any chasm than I thought I might have been in before. He gave me as much time as I needed to process what he had just said. When I regained my voice, it didn't come out as speech. It started off as a whisper.
"What do you mean?"
He hesitated a little before replying, "We had an agreement, Sienna. I'd pay your house mortgage and give you two hundred thousand dollars. I've fulfilled my end of the bargain."
"After everything?"
"After what Sienna?"
"Everything, Alessandro. After all we've been through, you still want me to leave?" I croaked. Saliva clogged my throat and my eyes threatened to give in to tears, but I held it back.
"Listen, Sienna. We've had our fun...and it was good while it lasted but you have to..."
"Fun?"
He stared blankly at me as I lifted myself from him and looked him in the eye.
"You call what we had 'fun'?"
"Sienna... don't..."
"You're calling me 'Sienna'!? What happened totigre?"
"Listen, Sienna. There's no running away from this." It infuriated me how he talked with so much calm aloofness, like he wasn't tearing out a piece of my heart with every statement he uttered.
"Well, I'm staying with you. No matter what you say." I hugged him again, about to make the big reveal. "Because I'm..."
The force he used to push me away from himself shocked and stung me. I have never felt so rejected in my life.
"Don't you understand, Sienna? I can't be with you! You can't be with me either! We're entirely different people. I'm a high achieving person. You're just...a poor gambling drunk whose world got tangled up in mine."
Huh?
"A poor gambling drunk," I repeated his words and let them sink in. Wow.
I nodded slowly and began giving him space.
A poor gambling drunk.
"You leave first thing tomorrow morning," he said plainly, solidifying the pain he caused. I didn't have plans of leaving the next morning though. As soon as he left my room, I began angrily stuffing as many things into as many bags that I could. If I spent another night here...if I saw his face clearly kissed by the morning sunlight once again, maybe I'd be deceived that he didn't say the things he said. Maybe I'd be naive enough to accept his pleas if he ever slept on his thoughts and had a change of heart. Right now, it felt like every breath of air I took in this place was toxic, killing me slowly each time I inhaled.
After one of the most heartbreaking thirty minutes of my life, I walked out of the room without saying goodbye to the place and shuffled out of the door. I planned to do what was right and send him a thank you text when I was more composed. But now, my head hurt so much, I was sure I would pass out if I saw his face one more time. I still saw him though in the living room,and then one question surfaced into my thoughts. One that was buried with Alessandro's first kiss.
